I will know more tomorrow

This is going to be painful, I think.

Been pondering things all weekend long.  A hell of a way to spend a weekend. Thought about going out to the coast; never did get up the gumption to go.

Did a fair amount of napping. Didn't go to CF.  I should have, Physical activity would have benefited me I think.

I'm conflicted.  Yeah, back to the old routine.

Some of me wants to just tell them I will just head home. Things didn't work out.  Another part of me says to just wait it out.  If they tell me I have to be removed from CLMS, then I will depart. Came here to work at CLMS. If that is not possible anymore, why stay?

Coming here was good for me.  I already decided that. Got me away from some things I desperately needed to be away from.  A different venue was much needed.

Which way to go?

So often I have found myself asking that.  And so here we are again.

Damn.

talked to the union rep this morning...

I feel a little better but remain skeptical.

The rep says he has dealt with this kind of thing, before.  So have I, a long time ago.

Well, it happened....

Home early today and not for a good reason.  Lord above.

Some female students say that they feel uncomfortable round me.  Came out of the blue.  Mr. M called me into his office to tell me and advised I return home for the day.

I was stunned, unsure just what to say...so I said nothing.  That might go against me. Just didn't know what to say or how.

It's happened before, a long time ago.

It looks like my career in education is over.  Even if, after the investigation, they determine I'm okay, once an allegation like this is made, your reputation is toast - no way around it.

Looks like I am going home to Carolina after all....

😉😞

Perhaps....

I just need to focus on things I  can control.

My classes are going along well, with an occasional bump in the road.

I still enjoy coming to school each morning, still enjoy working with students again.

I can't fix everything.  I lack the wisdom and, honestly, the time and energy.

I am no Gahndi, not an MLK or Simon Bolivar.
Don't even make a decent Spartcus. Not really. I am not savage enough.

Why not focus on things I can do?

Sounds like a good solution to me.

I dont want trouble

I sure have a penchant for getting into it.

Visiting kennedy space center again today. The ERC is still closed. Durn

November is here

and things continue to move along.

Things have settled for me in my classroom. Of course, some of my worst students have been absent the last three days too.

Told my A block what to do if they are being bullied at school and admin does nothing.  Told them to have parents call the school, at least twice, and if that does no good, to contact the superintendent. If that still gets no results, if there is an incident where they are threatened or harmed, then they need to have parents go downtown and file a report.

Yeah, Spartacus lives.

I guess I will never be rid of that tendency.  It's in my DNA.  Got me in trouble in Catholic Schools and a few times in the public schools too.

Never been able to sit back and watch.

gotta get a grip...

I actually hate that term. Really.

The NCAE non rep used it on me when I was enduring the mess at PG, years ago. Guess I need to get over that, It was 1992 for glory sakes. It's an issue I've had my whole life, letting go of the past. Seems I still have it.

Didn't go anywhere special, just to the Apple Store.  Finally got my printer hooked up through their assistance.

Don't feel so bad as I did on Friday.  I need to focus on the things I can control and not dwell on those Ive no control over.

Talked to the union rep about my salary issues and my concern about CLMS doing high school rather than middle school.  He says most middle schools do that now.  Asked about moving to another school after only one year, but I doubt that is feasible or possible.

My age would be a factor.

It's either bloom where I am planted or give it up, I fear.