gotta get a grip...

I actually hate that term. Really.

The NCAE non rep used it on me when I was enduring the mess at PG, years ago. Guess I need to get over that, It was 1992 for glory sakes. It's an issue I've had my whole life, letting go of the past. Seems I still have it.

Didn't go anywhere special, just to the Apple Store.  Finally got my printer hooked up through their assistance.

Don't feel so bad as I did on Friday.  I need to focus on the things I can control and not dwell on those Ive no control over.

Talked to the union rep about my salary issues and my concern about CLMS doing high school rather than middle school.  He says most middle schools do that now.  Asked about moving to another school after only one year, but I doubt that is feasible or possible.

My age would be a factor.

It's either bloom where I am planted or give it up, I fear.

A bit demoralized...

my classes are fine, particularly for a Friday with a "pep rally."

That isn't an issue

I'm not quite a basket case....

I just got a glimpse of reality and it has me troubled. In 31 years I have never seen a more disorderly pep rally. Never.

Not possible you say?

I might have thought that, until today.

Even when the school principal called for calm and asked for their attention, many students, particularly our 6th graders, just kept on chattering, not paying any mind. It was like it just didn't matter for them.

I saw, for the first time, the demographics of the entire school.  Our 8th grade class is twice the size of the other two.  Our sixth grade is small and, actually, shrinking. We are "bleeding" students to other schools.

So often I have been in this scenario.  I am so weary of it.

How is it I get so easily attracted to such situations?

I got to get away this weekend.  Have to....

Some serious adjustments needed...

Both in my personal affairs and in how CLMS IS run.

Yeah, here I go again....

More later...

Some serious decisions are needed in terms of my financial status and related things.  The house in Carolina is an albatross hanging about my neck.  It needs so much work I have to wonder if the investment is worth it anymore.

Sad part is that it is the ONLY house I have ever owned and I have been there 25 years.  Still, the place does not feel like "home" anymore.  Some of that has to do with the neighborhood. It has gone downhill severely since I arrived.  Been here in Florida and realize that I do NOT miss being "home" at all. Indeed, it has been a relief to not be.

I guess I feel I just need a fresh start someplace else.

Where?

That isn't as simple as it once seemed.

Back to the mountains?  Not for a whole year. I don't like winter in the western mountains - too cold.

Add to this I associate life in the mountains with my past association with Mike.  True or false, right or wrong, I do.

I want that behind me, for good.

Rockingham County?  The people at Rock middle are about the only thing I miss in Carolina.  Still, Rockingham county and too much of the Piedmont are so full of stupid now. I don't know that I can stomach that anymore...
How about remaining in Florida?  I have given that serious consideration lately. As I remember saying, being here has been good for me. I'm removed from the issues that vexed me back "home" and I am experiencing some new things and different people. Didn't realize just how much I needed that until I came here.

There are downsides to all things. Clermont, Florida is no different.

Like it always is for me, it's complicated.

Meantime, I am not yet pleased with the job I am doing at CLMS.  Still haven't sorted out how to teach these kids effectively.  Too many things not going right and/or falling through the cracks. Serious lack of work ethic.  Got to get a handle on this and soon.

it's outright cool this evening

all of a sudden too.

from my recent visit to Kennedy Space Center

Not sure the furnace in my RV works right. Cool, in Florida in October??? Bizarre to be sure.

Not overly thrilled with how I am doing at school. I just don't seem to have the energy I remember having before.  I will be 69 in a little over a month.

Don't want these kids to have less solely because of me....

wasted

I napped most of this weekend. Really.  didn't know I was that tired. Got most of the school work done (grading) but no planning at all.

Had vowed to travel somewhere.  Didn't do that either.

Gotta rid ourselves of Trump. Have to.

another weekend

and here I am, once more, working on school work.

We have a workday on Monday, but I've this fear it will be dominated by meetings and conferences and so I won't get a lot done.  And I am not the best manager of my time, anyhow.

Character flaw.

Had dinner with Mrs. Weber and her significant other, Tom; their invitation and their "treat," in a nice place called the Back Room in Apopka.

Tom seemed mellow enough. I feared he might not be. But he is an ultra conservative.
I'm not as tolerant of that kind of thing as I once was, but bit down hard on my bottom lip for some of the evening and didn't argue.  Not the right place or the right time. And I could have countered many of the things said. Just chose not to.

a president martyred for the people

Suffice to comment that he sees people and the world in much different ways, kind of like Mike does.

What can one do about that? Not much.

First bump in the road at the RV park.  The owner came by and asked me to move my RV more to the left.  His underling asked a week or so ago and I did move it some. Seems he wants me to move it more.  Wonder who it is that is paying to live here.

Maybe the RV life is not the right one for me.

A few weeks back, I gave some thought to packing up and heading back to the Carolinas. Don't see myself doing that now, at least, not at the moment.

All schools and situations have their challenges.  I really ought to know that.

the doubts keep coming

and I hate it.

yeah, that was me - mid 70s

Being here has been good for me.  I've joined a health club and am working out with one of the trainers each week.  Knees feel stronger and the trainer mentioned, just yesterday, that my movement seems more fluid.

Propaganda?

Who can really tell, anymore?  It's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world....

Trump and the republithugs are running us into the ground.

Hillary continues to whine and point fingers of blame. Go away, Hillary. Please.

When I think about going back to the mountains, my thoughts turn to the Griffins and I don't want to have anything more to do with that.  Just like with Mary, I let that association go on far too long.

Living in an RV park is okay, but a little bizarre at times. Everyone seems friendly enough. Nearly everyone waves.  And now that might hot water issue has solved itself (I honestly don't know how) and the air is back on, things are good.  Hurricane Irma was a clarion call, but I am over it. The wifi does not always work, but at least the proprietors are not in my business like RJ was.

Here there is no ma Barker and no skanks to file false police report on me or knock down my mail box or slime my car.

Gone are the occasions where I drive by St,. Paul or St Pius or, heaven forbid, the Science center. Too many bad memories there. Not an issue here.

All is new.

You know, I sometimes wonder if I will ever go back...

This has got to slack up...

or it will surely impact my health.

The weekend was spent, for the most part, trying to keep up with school work. I had hoped to take a trip somewhere.  No time.

I've left school exhausted more than a few times.

Neglected my health club time because I was overwhelmed with work.

Something has to give, or I fear I will.