Back at RCMS today....

doing "locker patrol."

Tomorrow I have my first sub job. Wednesday and Thursday too.

The trip to DC was interesting.  Mobility is becoming more and more of an issue for me.  My legs hurt most all of the time.  Ken, a friend of mine, had it worse than me.  His back is really bad. He spent most of the visit to the national mall sitting on a bench.

The trip up and the trip back took me up to nine hours because I kept stopping. Stopped at a Waffle House in Virginia and got the runs.  I knew almost every rest stop along 85.

The lower back hurts still.  Could not get an MRI until next Saturday.  Hoping it's not anything serious.

Got a call to sub at a new charter school in Greensboro.

Interesting.

Life just doesn't seem to have the urgency it used to have

and that, actually, is a blessing.

I can stay up as late as I wish and get up when I am ready to.

It remains a relief to not be a teacher anymore.  As Sybil said so well, public education is not a user friendly place anymore. Not by a long shot.

I hope to be past the anger and disappointment I still feel over my experiences in Florida, but that isn't reality yet.

The house is a wreck.  It just is. In my current financial condition, I doubt I will be able to salvage it. The tarp on the roof appears to be doing its job.  That is a comfort. I cannot shed the notion that this, the only house I have ever owned and one I have resided in for over a quarter of a century will ultimately have to be surrendered to some scavenger.  The next year will tell the tale.

ugh!

most of the pain is in my lower back, right where the kidneys are.  The PA handling my issues at Baptist health has ordered a MRI of the kidneys but I have heard nothing else about it. frequent urination, every two or three hours too. No fun.

My trip to DC got postponed.  The Amtrak train is booked this weekend.  I was somewhat amazed at that.  Looking at making another attempt midweek.  I could just drive up but don't really want to do that. Taking the train would be a lot less stressful and more of an adventure.

Published my 4th book, A guide for a second American revolution on both create as space and Lulu. 108 pages. Not a lengthy treatise.  But I finished another book and actually had it published, albeit self published.

Next up, I hope, will be another short book: What Does Not Kill Me, a how to book on how to keep life's detractors from destroying you.

Within the next year, I plan to finish the first edition of Mid The Hills: the CCR Story. The first edition will concern itself with my first year at CCR.  I plan to break up the rest of the saga into other books. There is another CCR reunion planned for a year from Labor Day, in 2019. My hope is to have the first edition published before then. Also hope to locate the hundreds (literally) of color slides I have of my CCR years, digitalize them, and fashion it all into a video for the occasion.

The conundrum will be whether I will attend the reunion myself.  Maine is far far away. Camp Waziliyah, which is owned by two CCR alums, is in Waterford, Maine.  Much will depend on what I am doing. If I remain retired, which right now, I plan to, then I would certainly have the time.  If Mike attends, I will not.  That will give him the opportunity, of course, to totally trash me during the "Mike Griffin worship" portion of the gathering. He did it to BJ Rankin the last time, the owner of the camp.  Narcissistic sociopaths have no honor. I just have to wonder if I am the only CCR alum who sees it.

I once again find myself thinking of leaving the country, based on what happens in November.  If that blue tsunami thy speak of does not occur, then I do not give democracy in America long to live. A possible constitutional convention is on the horizon and if the likes of the Koch brothers get their way, our present constitution, particularly portions of the bill of rights, will get shredded and we will officially become an oligarchy, something we already are to a large extent. Scary.

I know I've said this already, but I have never seen so much stupid as I have these past few years.

Why do people vote against their own welfare?

So many are duped and fooled by the hype and the rhetoric. It's just easier to do what others tell you to do than to check things out for yourself.

 But that isn't how a democracy is supposed to work.

And right now, in America, it isn't working.

The stomach pain has started back up again ..

They changed meds on me.  Hope that will help.

Just commented on school starting again on facebook and, for the first time, used Clermont Middle's name in the post.  I had kept the identify of the school a secret until now. I don't feel as though I owe them that anymore, particularly after I trashed them on the Great Schools site.

But now that I have done that, I need to put all the trauma from last school year behind me. It's over. It no longer affects me.  It was a lesson learned, albeit a painful one, and I need to move on. I've never been good at letting go of things.  That has harmed me and others and I don't want that to happen this go around.

Looking at going up to the DC area this coming up weekend.  Haven't really taken me a "vacation " all summer and I need to.

School starts back up in the Carolinas fairly soon and I have tentatively decided to go back to subbing and helping out at Rock Middle again.  They seem happy to have me back.  It's already obvious How I feel about being home.
They came and put a tarp over a portion of my roof.  We'll see how things go the next big blow we have.

I went by for a visit today.  They are indeed looking forward to having me around again and, I think I discovered something I already knew - I feel the same way.

Put a message on the Clermont Middle facebook page wishing them the best year ever.  They review everything so I doubt this will appear.  Still, I needed to do that. It's part of my coping with what happened and then moving on.

It's time.

Stopped at Sagebrush, in Reidsville, for dinner.  The first two people I saw were former students, one of them 21 years old now.  I guess, whether I recognize it or not, I am legend.  And I am so honored to be.

School started in Florida, yesterday...

and I am overwhelmingly relieved that I am no longer a part of that...

Got up this morning and left the house as soon as I could arrange to.  Not gonna be a hermit today.

I hope I don't see those little skanks today.  Also hope I don't overreact if I do.

Been here 26 years in December and never been a problem for anyone. Why is being "different" a crime?

I'm sure that some of the renewed interest stems from my being outside, usually dressed in some short shorts, with my eyes bandaged up.  That DOES look odd. But it harms NO ONE.

I've told a few people in the neighborhood why this happens;  even told Ma Barker.  I guess the word has not filtered out.  I dress that way because it is comfortable, I'm inside, most of the time, just sitting around or taking a nap. Again, I ask, what possible harm am I doing to anyone?

As I mentioned yesterday, my working for a year in Florida did some good, financially. By mid year, three of my major debts will be gone.

In the upcoming year, I will either sell the RV or dump the house...maybe both.  Time to reorient and reprioritize some things.  With $1000 more in disposable income, I will be better able to do that.

I'm at Panera Bread for lunch.  Just met my second Rockingham County parent since I came in. Both tell me I am remembered with fondness.  That does the old heart good.

Today was a total waste

Stayed home.  Stayed inside.  Did some editing this evening.  Trashed Clermont Middle School, again, on Great Schools after deleting my earlier review. Not nice.  But I spoke the truth.

Today was their first day back to school. I am so relieved that I am not a part of that anymore.

Feeling some sense of loss during this, my second retirement, but not so much as I did.

My last paycheck from Lake County comes in day after tomorrow and things will become a bit "lean" again for me, financially, although my loan from the state employees credit union will be paid off the first of next month.  That will mean $500 more income each month and that ought to help.

The car will be paid off this coming year as will my debt to the IRS, possibly as soon as February 1st, 2019.  Going back to work that one year was stressful but it helped massively in economic terms.

Some local preteens may be targeting me.  Yeah. Ma Barker gone. So are the skanks across the street. Both houses are still empty. A gaggle of little boys stopped at the entrance to my driveway this afternoon, about dusk, lingered a moment or two and then moved on. I recognize one of them as having resided in the "skank" house across the street at one time.

Perhaps it is nothing. I hope that it is.  I am weary of stupid. This neighborhood is nothing like it used to be when I first came here 26 years ago.  People used to respect one another.  Some of the elements that have come in since then plainly do not. The issue isn't the kids; the issue is the parents. It usually is.

Something has got to give.

First, know that most of this post is being done blindfolded.  Yep, the eye infection has really kicked up and I've had my eyes bandaged up most of the day.

Cute little girl. Miss working with kids like this.

LOL!  Got myself nice and lost out in the yard. Nearly wound up in the street. A neighbor helped steer me back to the house and then helped get me on the site.  It was quite an undertaking.

She's a cutie but I bet she is also a handful at school.

I would guess I am making a lot of mistakes and so will have to do some serious editing before I publish.

As I already said, something has got to go. No one will finance my fixing up the house and I've no one to blame but myself. Bad money management. Been an issue for me since life began.  The problem  this past year wasn't income. Had $40,000+ more income than the year prior. Problem was delinquent payments.  That can raise havoc with one's credit rating.

Well, I bought the RV with intend of living in it. Perhaps that is what I will just need to do. Never envisioned it turning out like this.

Nuts.

Whew!  Just took off the bandages.  The eyes still hurt a bit.  Had them bandaged since early this morning.

Gonna take a bit to go back over and fix all my mistakes, but things aren't so bad as I feared they night be.

Will add the photos since I could not do that before.

things do not look good

Another roofing company rep texted me this morning to delay and I just told them not to bother. It was the second delay in two days. Don't think their finance would have worked out anywhere. Gonna have to go another route on that- if only I knew what that could be.

Renaissance Charter emailed a notice that I was not selected for the 8th grade position and that it was given to someone else.  Business people; not educators.  I remain convinced I did the right thing in not going there.  They start up on Monday.  Some of the local schools do in a week or two. Will I miss it this time around.

Ah...but I already do.

Saw the movie 8th grade today.  It covered the final week or 8th for a mixed up little girl and her struggling father.  A few parts were a little intense, but overall, it brought back some good memories, weird as that might seem.

and it hasn't

Lowes will not finance me.  Neither will another loan agent.

My credit score is now 607.  Didn't know that. That's over 100 points lower than a year ago.

My plans and schemes are effectively derailed.

The stomach is better although I still have some belly pain.

mixed reviews

things are better but I still have reduced stomach pain and pain in my lower back, in the regions where my kidneys are.

working things to get  new roof on the house and replace two bathroom floors.

Hope it works out.

a little better

still not sure.

the pain in my ribs and elsewhere seems less. don't want to be overly optimistic.

the new spot they found in my lung has not grown any and looks to be some kind of infection and not the cancer I feared.

Have a swelling on trhe back of my head they are going to look at.

if it's not one thing, it is something else.

ah well, I will be 70 in few months...

I'd sweat blood for over a week...

That cyst they told me I had on my pnncreas was a fatty deposit and NOT a cyst.  Didn't say it to anyone, but I was thinking pancreatic cancer.

😒

I've been diagnosed with some condition that causes swelling in the ribs and can create stomach pain. Steroids.

Next, today, is a visit to the pulmonary people to check out the spec on my lung to see if it has grown any.