70 is the new 40???

Not sure about all that.  Tried to climb atop my rv this afternoon and nearly had a bad fall.  Two bad knees, a bum hip and 70 years made it problematic.  No doubt the rain will continue to fall inside the RV and the precipitation is said to come for the next three, consecutive days.

I've appealed for assistance via the local list serve, Nighthawk nation. We'll see what, if anything, happens .

Truth, no matter what trumpers say.

The sky is falling....

Trump has six, separate investigations aimed at him, now.  I don't see a way out of this for him. Reality is closing in.

I find myself wondering why anyone is amazed by any of this.  He has played fast and loose his entire life, dodged responsibilities, been an utter creep...

"You're fired!"

He insulted everyone from parents who lost children in war to war veterans to the disabled...

I am utterly amazed he did not tweet the state of the union address.

Now, he cannot get anyone to accept his chief of staff position and finds himself isolated in international gatherings, treated like a pariah (which he is); even athletic champions shun their visits to the White House.

How can anyone in that position represent the leadership of the free world?

Yet there are millions who retain loyalty to him and uphold for him,

"Trump 2020"

"Best president ever!"

How can ANYONE think, much less, say that?

I'll be 70 in a few days. In all the years I have spent on this earth, I have never seen the level of stupid and the level of utter corruption and gullibility that exists in the land of the free.

An understatement:  this is no longer the country I grew up in.  Not even close!

have mercy ...

I just realized what is behind a lot of our issues and problems in the United States of America: the protestant work ethic, the notion that you must work hard and be self reliant in order to gain God's favor and earn salvation.

Am I one of the few who sees a simple solution here?

How about some cause and effect?

Poor people turn to crime in order to survive. Okay so that isn't the only reason but it sure is a BIG one.

Why are people poor?  Some claim it is because they make poor choices.

Some do.  More are part of something called institutionalized poverty; their families have been poor for generations. There are multiple causes; ignorance, racism and, the biggest, simple greed and selfishness.

I cannot possibly understand how the Waltons, owners of Walmart and worth $175 billion can possibly need to gather more wealth as the workers who have earned those millions must rely on pubic assistance.

Better paid workers will be able to spend more, pump more money into the economy, create a broader tax base, and help lift us all.  That doesn't appear to be the priority of those in command, either republican or democrat.

Small wonder that 80% of evangelicals voted for Trump; they seem hard wired into the notion that your financial and social status reflects your value as a human being and is linked to your salvation. utter stupid!!!

Neither Jesus of Nazareth or any of his apostles were wealthy.  Indeed, during the three years of His public ministry, there were virtually homeless and dependent on the support of others.  Current day evangelicals would be horrified !

e

December now....

my 70th is but two weeks distant.  Wonder if I will get celebrated on the CCR site like King Mike was....

Gotta stop spouting off like I do. Today I overreacted and told one Spanish class that my muslim neighbors were more civilized than some of my Christian neighbors.  I will like hear about this one.

I dislike this time of year

Thanksgiving and Christmas serve to remind me of the things I never really had, a family. I'm 70 in a few weeks.  One would think I would be over this by now. I'm not and suspect I never will be.

The closest thing I ever had to having a child of my own,  the woman you
see in this photo. Faith is now a missionary in Romania and is
expecting her 7th child.

The very last thing I ever wanted to become was a bitter, cynical, old man.  Eons ago, my elderly and crochetety aunt Mary predicted I would be some day.

Only wish I knew what I could do about it now...

another Friday

That doesn't hold the fascination that it once did.

Subbed at RCMS today - Spanish.  Even that doesn't hold much fascination for me.  Not sure just what that means...

still here...

Haven't been around for awhile now...

Wasn't sure I would be coming back, but here I am.

Thankfully, we've some breathing room in the congress now, with democrats regaining control of the House.  Had that not happened, I would not have given democracy long to live in America.

I had begun drawing up plans to emigrate to Central America.  Somewhat relieved I won't have to do that now...at least, not yet.

tRUMP seems about to go off the deep end.  He has never heard the word "no" and cannot handle it. It's anyone 's guess what he might do next.

This past weekend was Veterans Day.  Neither he nor his Vice President went to Arlington to honor the fallen. Don't believe that has ever happened before.
He was in Europe but didn't go to the 100th anniversary of the armistice ending WW I because it was raining, the only major "leader" to do that. Once more he met with Putin, on Veteran's day of all times.

Been subbing at RCMS regularly.  It's just a relief, a massive relief that I am not in Clermont, Florida.

Back at RCMS today....

doing "locker patrol."

Tomorrow I have my first sub job. Wednesday and Thursday too.

The trip to DC was interesting.  Mobility is becoming more and more of an issue for me.  My legs hurt most all of the time.  Ken, a friend of mine, had it worse than me.  His back is really bad. He spent most of the visit to the national mall sitting on a bench.

The trip up and the trip back took me up to nine hours because I kept stopping. Stopped at a Waffle House in Virginia and got the runs.  I knew almost every rest stop along 85.

The lower back hurts still.  Could not get an MRI until next Saturday.  Hoping it's not anything serious.

Got a call to sub at a new charter school in Greensboro.

Interesting.

Life just doesn't seem to have the urgency it used to have

and that, actually, is a blessing.

I can stay up as late as I wish and get up when I am ready to.

It remains a relief to not be a teacher anymore.  As Sybil said so well, public education is not a user friendly place anymore. Not by a long shot.

I hope to be past the anger and disappointment I still feel over my experiences in Florida, but that isn't reality yet.

The house is a wreck.  It just is. In my current financial condition, I doubt I will be able to salvage it. The tarp on the roof appears to be doing its job.  That is a comfort. I cannot shed the notion that this, the only house I have ever owned and one I have resided in for over a quarter of a century will ultimately have to be surrendered to some scavenger.  The next year will tell the tale.

ugh!

most of the pain is in my lower back, right where the kidneys are.  The PA handling my issues at Baptist health has ordered a MRI of the kidneys but I have heard nothing else about it. frequent urination, every two or three hours too. No fun.

My trip to DC got postponed.  The Amtrak train is booked this weekend.  I was somewhat amazed at that.  Looking at making another attempt midweek.  I could just drive up but don't really want to do that. Taking the train would be a lot less stressful and more of an adventure.

Published my 4th book, A guide for a second American revolution on both create as space and Lulu. 108 pages. Not a lengthy treatise.  But I finished another book and actually had it published, albeit self published.

Next up, I hope, will be another short book: What Does Not Kill Me, a how to book on how to keep life's detractors from destroying you.

Within the next year, I plan to finish the first edition of Mid The Hills: the CCR Story. The first edition will concern itself with my first year at CCR.  I plan to break up the rest of the saga into other books. There is another CCR reunion planned for a year from Labor Day, in 2019. My hope is to have the first edition published before then. Also hope to locate the hundreds (literally) of color slides I have of my CCR years, digitalize them, and fashion it all into a video for the occasion.

The conundrum will be whether I will attend the reunion myself.  Maine is far far away. Camp Waziliyah, which is owned by two CCR alums, is in Waterford, Maine.  Much will depend on what I am doing. If I remain retired, which right now, I plan to, then I would certainly have the time.  If Mike attends, I will not.  That will give him the opportunity, of course, to totally trash me during the "Mike Griffin worship" portion of the gathering. He did it to BJ Rankin the last time, the owner of the camp.  Narcissistic sociopaths have no honor. I just have to wonder if I am the only CCR alum who sees it.

I once again find myself thinking of leaving the country, based on what happens in November.  If that blue tsunami thy speak of does not occur, then I do not give democracy in America long to live. A possible constitutional convention is on the horizon and if the likes of the Koch brothers get their way, our present constitution, particularly portions of the bill of rights, will get shredded and we will officially become an oligarchy, something we already are to a large extent. Scary.

I know I've said this already, but I have never seen so much stupid as I have these past few years.

Why do people vote against their own welfare?

So many are duped and fooled by the hype and the rhetoric. It's just easier to do what others tell you to do than to check things out for yourself.

 But that isn't how a democracy is supposed to work.

And right now, in America, it isn't working.

The stomach pain has started back up again ..

They changed meds on me.  Hope that will help.

Just commented on school starting again on facebook and, for the first time, used Clermont Middle's name in the post.  I had kept the identify of the school a secret until now. I don't feel as though I owe them that anymore, particularly after I trashed them on the Great Schools site.

But now that I have done that, I need to put all the trauma from last school year behind me. It's over. It no longer affects me.  It was a lesson learned, albeit a painful one, and I need to move on. I've never been good at letting go of things.  That has harmed me and others and I don't want that to happen this go around.

Looking at going up to the DC area this coming up weekend.  Haven't really taken me a "vacation " all summer and I need to.

School starts back up in the Carolinas fairly soon and I have tentatively decided to go back to subbing and helping out at Rock Middle again.  They seem happy to have me back.  It's already obvious How I feel about being home.
They came and put a tarp over a portion of my roof.  We'll see how things go the next big blow we have.

I went by for a visit today.  They are indeed looking forward to having me around again and, I think I discovered something I already knew - I feel the same way.

Put a message on the Clermont Middle facebook page wishing them the best year ever.  They review everything so I doubt this will appear.  Still, I needed to do that. It's part of my coping with what happened and then moving on.

It's time.

Stopped at Sagebrush, in Reidsville, for dinner.  The first two people I saw were former students, one of them 21 years old now.  I guess, whether I recognize it or not, I am legend.  And I am so honored to be.

School started in Florida, yesterday...

and I am overwhelmingly relieved that I am no longer a part of that...

Got up this morning and left the house as soon as I could arrange to.  Not gonna be a hermit today.

I hope I don't see those little skanks today.  Also hope I don't overreact if I do.

Been here 26 years in December and never been a problem for anyone. Why is being "different" a crime?

I'm sure that some of the renewed interest stems from my being outside, usually dressed in some short shorts, with my eyes bandaged up.  That DOES look odd. But it harms NO ONE.

I've told a few people in the neighborhood why this happens;  even told Ma Barker.  I guess the word has not filtered out.  I dress that way because it is comfortable, I'm inside, most of the time, just sitting around or taking a nap. Again, I ask, what possible harm am I doing to anyone?

As I mentioned yesterday, my working for a year in Florida did some good, financially. By mid year, three of my major debts will be gone.

In the upcoming year, I will either sell the RV or dump the house...maybe both.  Time to reorient and reprioritize some things.  With $1000 more in disposable income, I will be better able to do that.

I'm at Panera Bread for lunch.  Just met my second Rockingham County parent since I came in. Both tell me I am remembered with fondness.  That does the old heart good.

Today was a total waste

Stayed home.  Stayed inside.  Did some editing this evening.  Trashed Clermont Middle School, again, on Great Schools after deleting my earlier review. Not nice.  But I spoke the truth.

Today was their first day back to school. I am so relieved that I am not a part of that anymore.

Feeling some sense of loss during this, my second retirement, but not so much as I did.

My last paycheck from Lake County comes in day after tomorrow and things will become a bit "lean" again for me, financially, although my loan from the state employees credit union will be paid off the first of next month.  That will mean $500 more income each month and that ought to help.

The car will be paid off this coming year as will my debt to the IRS, possibly as soon as February 1st, 2019.  Going back to work that one year was stressful but it helped massively in economic terms.

Some local preteens may be targeting me.  Yeah. Ma Barker gone. So are the skanks across the street. Both houses are still empty. A gaggle of little boys stopped at the entrance to my driveway this afternoon, about dusk, lingered a moment or two and then moved on. I recognize one of them as having resided in the "skank" house across the street at one time.

Perhaps it is nothing. I hope that it is.  I am weary of stupid. This neighborhood is nothing like it used to be when I first came here 26 years ago.  People used to respect one another.  Some of the elements that have come in since then plainly do not. The issue isn't the kids; the issue is the parents. It usually is.

Something has got to give.

First, know that most of this post is being done blindfolded.  Yep, the eye infection has really kicked up and I've had my eyes bandaged up most of the day.

Cute little girl. Miss working with kids like this.

LOL!  Got myself nice and lost out in the yard. Nearly wound up in the street. A neighbor helped steer me back to the house and then helped get me on the site.  It was quite an undertaking.

She's a cutie but I bet she is also a handful at school.

I would guess I am making a lot of mistakes and so will have to do some serious editing before I publish.

As I already said, something has got to go. No one will finance my fixing up the house and I've no one to blame but myself. Bad money management. Been an issue for me since life began.  The problem  this past year wasn't income. Had $40,000+ more income than the year prior. Problem was delinquent payments.  That can raise havoc with one's credit rating.

Well, I bought the RV with intend of living in it. Perhaps that is what I will just need to do. Never envisioned it turning out like this.

Nuts.

Whew!  Just took off the bandages.  The eyes still hurt a bit.  Had them bandaged since early this morning.

Gonna take a bit to go back over and fix all my mistakes, but things aren't so bad as I feared they night be.

Will add the photos since I could not do that before.

things do not look good

Another roofing company rep texted me this morning to delay and I just told them not to bother. It was the second delay in two days. Don't think their finance would have worked out anywhere. Gonna have to go another route on that- if only I knew what that could be.

Renaissance Charter emailed a notice that I was not selected for the 8th grade position and that it was given to someone else.  Business people; not educators.  I remain convinced I did the right thing in not going there.  They start up on Monday.  Some of the local schools do in a week or two. Will I miss it this time around.

Ah...but I already do.

Saw the movie 8th grade today.  It covered the final week or 8th for a mixed up little girl and her struggling father.  A few parts were a little intense, but overall, it brought back some good memories, weird as that might seem.

and it hasn't

Lowes will not finance me.  Neither will another loan agent.

My credit score is now 607.  Didn't know that. That's over 100 points lower than a year ago.

My plans and schemes are effectively derailed.

The stomach is better although I still have some belly pain.

mixed reviews

things are better but I still have reduced stomach pain and pain in my lower back, in the regions where my kidneys are.

working things to get  new roof on the house and replace two bathroom floors.

Hope it works out.

a little better

still not sure.

the pain in my ribs and elsewhere seems less. don't want to be overly optimistic.

the new spot they found in my lung has not grown any and looks to be some kind of infection and not the cancer I feared.

Have a swelling on trhe back of my head they are going to look at.

if it's not one thing, it is something else.

ah well, I will be 70 in few months...

I'd sweat blood for over a week...

That cyst they told me I had on my pnncreas was a fatty deposit and NOT a cyst.  Didn't say it to anyone, but I was thinking pancreatic cancer.

😒

I've been diagnosed with some condition that causes swelling in the ribs and can create stomach pain. Steroids.

Next, today, is a visit to the pulmonary people to check out the spec on my lung to see if it has grown any.

The stomach issue isn't really new

Started feeling it in clermont last spring. Guess I was dealing with so many other things that I barely took notice....

Dumb....

The pain is hardly excruciating. More like an ache.  And they gave me meds to deal with it if I need to. Funny....hydrocodone; they gave me some in Florida when I went to the ER there. Still have some.

Cancer

That spot on my lung is still there  Going to have qa CAT scan to see if it is any bigger.  There is a cyst on my pancreas.

I learned all of this when I went to the ER this morning.  My stomach pain won't go away and I was having issues breathing this morning.

The heart is fine. BP 229/79.

Never a dull moment for me.

Done

Finished.

Just notified the school, via email. Sone would say that was unprofessional.  It was how the school did most of their communication with me.  Very tough getting to actually speak to the principal...a part of the reason I have opted out.

John put it well.

I needed to just "cut my losses" and move on. No, I didn't want to end with the xctatstrophe at Clermont, but what if the situation at the charter school was poor or worse?  What would I have gained?

In the end, I don't think it was worth the relocation, not worth the risk.

Over and done.

That is how I see it.

So it's back to being retired.  I've held my last full time job, I think, unless something very strange occurs.

Not even sure I will do sub work.  Might just cast the public education routine adrift altogether.

Mddness

Would love to wave a magic wand and fix all this, but I AM NO Harry Potter.

mut decide by Monday.  (f( I m going to Florida, I must leave by Tuesday.

Just went through an entire week of Science ad venture without nary a comment either here or on Facebook look.

Another cute little stink bug!!!  This one was trying to follow me across the yard while we explored some trees.

This went much better than the 5/6 year old camp.

Exploring the nature trail

Compared to two weeks ago, this session ws  rousing success. Eight boys; 6 girls.  A good mix.

This session wS quite ex[ensive: Minerals from the mountains. Fossils from Florida. Rockets. I submitted most of my receipts.

Dragon's tail.  In this case, the dragon wAS QUITE BLIND.

Maybe I shouldn't have done it.....

but I did.

Sent a text to the 7th grade science teacher at Renaissance and asked him about staff dress code.

"Business casual," with a monogrammed school staff shirt every day.  What struck me most oddly is that, for the most part, staff has to pay for them.  No pet policy.  Data driven.  Lesson plans due two weeks ahead of time.  This place is starting to sound and look like North Korea!

That last item set the alarm bells clanging.  Something about requiring school staff to wear a staff shirt every day just struck me as excessive.

uh huh

So I decide to go online and do some research. Started out with the school name.  Not much information available, even on  the Great Schools site.

Expanded my search to include all of Chatrer Schools USA.  Most of the reviews are abominable.

"Don't do it!"

"Terrible place to work!"

"Awful leadership."

"Schools more interested in money than children."

Yes, there were a few very good reviews, almost sterling, but I am given to wonder if those weren't done by "trolls," people paid to write them. Corporations do that kind of thing you know.

Couple that with the principal there not seeming to know who I was when I called, not once but three times and not responding to my messages for two weeks.

This might explain why they were so willing to accept two senior citizens on staff and why they seem to eager to have me.  Each time they spoke to me it sounded as though they were afraid I would back out.

My stomach is in turmoil tonight.  as if it didn't hurt enough already.

Another week and a half....

and I head back south.

Not looking forward to the trek. Driving that RV is no fun but pulling a car hauler behind it makes things even more stressful.

Round three of Science adventures begins tomorrow.  15 kids. A bunch.  Again, my fault. They were willing to cap it at 12.  I told them it was okay to go over that.  They did.

Not doing the ooblek this go around. Too messy.

It runs all week this time,Monday - Friday.

A wonderful day

haven't been able to say something like that very often recently.

Mike was nowhere to be seen.  Neither did he figure prominently in any discussions.  His name did come up but only in connection with things that happened.

Acrophobia was a factor when we went up on Chimney Rock.  I had never been there despite my many summers "mid the hills."

We could see forever.

Robin was one of my CITs (counselors in training) way back in 1974.  Now she is married, has two sons, sleep apnea, and hearing issues.  Age can be brutal.

If things had not gone awry, our reunion would be taking place beginning today.  (interest waned this past spring and so when someone else took over the responsibility  for it, the reunion was postponed. Can't rid myself of the notion that much of the fault is Mike's.  When he made an issue of my being in charge and demanded that as part of the deal, I had to get back in contact, things went south in a hurry.

Won't dwell on that because I do not know, for a fact, that this was the case. Regardless, it did not cone up during out time in Chimney Rock and Lake Lure, yesterday, and that was good.

My time in the Carolinas is growing short and I've had a few second thoughts about whether I really want to head back to Florida.  That was going to happen.

Cherokee

Stopped down by the Nantahala River for breakfast this morning.  The water was already running and   it wasn't even 1030.  There were some very hard rains here a week or so back.  Flooded part of the
ridge top.  Could be why the river is running so often.  I didn't see any rafts or boats on the river yet, but my visit was just enough  to give me a twinge of regret at not being on the river anymore....

I'm in Cherokee today. Thinking about going to Unto These Hills, the drama about the Cherokee people.  Last time I did, years ago, the theme had changed radically and was quite acrimonious toward whites. Attendance was down.  No summer camps were in sight. Not a one.
Wonder if the tribe has learned their lesson yet...

Pondered going to theAquarium in Gatlinburg then decided the crush of tourists in mid-jury might be more than I cared to deal with.

Spoke to Sanjay briefly, awhile ago. The Griffins have not been here in a long long time, either. I guess I see why that would not be unexpected.  Their marine corp son was the big kayaker and he's an entire state (6-7 hours) away at Camp LeJeune.

Not sure just why those thoughts even entered my cranial concerns, except, maybe, that I, too, have begun to regret what's happened between me and the Griffins.....

Got to get those thoughts out of my head!

I meet up with Robin tomorrow morning.  Hope there are no surprises in store.

Bryson City

Didn't come here at all last summer.  First time this year.  It might be the final time.

That feels weird to say, but my reasons for coming here are gone.  Don't see my doing white water kayaking anymore. Truth was I wasn't into it all that much to begin with; something else Mike pressured me into doing.

The town looks unchanged.  So does the Ridge Top Motel.  Feels outright strange being here just myself. I've done it before but it feels more....more "final" this time. As I said, it might be.

Gonna have a good "last" look around, if, indeed this is that.

A lot of personal history here.

 Came to the vicinity (the river) with CCR in 72 or 73.

Brought my 7th & 8th grade class from BSS here in 84.

Mary and I came here after we escaped from St. Ann's School and Fayetteville, me enroute to UNC and Mary looking to rebuild her life and escape from her past. It was here, overlooking the river and in the shadow of the old courthouse that she made the decision to make the break and go out on that proverbial limb.  We had both just spent the summer at our LADY OF THE HILLS CAMP.

A lot of history here. Bunches.

The years have swept by. I neglected to say I lived in the RV camp next to the 'ridge top for several months. Yeah. History.

I head back to Florida exactly two weeks from today.  I plan to stick by my decision.  I needed to make one.

I'm meeting up with Robin, from my CCR days, tomorrow, in Hickory Nut Gorge, on the road that leads up to the site where Camp Chimney Rock once stood.  Talk about history.

She's the only one who is going to make it to the Gorge near the dates we had set for the reunion. I better be ready if Mike shows up. He could.  I just hope and pray that ?Robin isn't setting me up. Shouldn't be thinking the kind of thing, but I am.

Settled

And art all happened rather abruptly too.

My former compadre in crime, Kathy, has returned from Europe and gave me a call.  We spoke a long time. Kathy is a former nurse and world class listener.

Sometimes all it takes is talking it out. I did.

I will be returning to Florida for the school year. New school. New situation.

It really came down to two things. One I have mentioned before.

I don't want my years in the classroom to end on the note it did last school year. Don't want my final years to be a memory of calamity and disgrace.  They would be if I left things as they are today.

The other things is that I have never worked in a charter school and would always wonder if the horror stories I hear about corporate run charters was true. I would go to my final reward without knowing.  I've already decided, firmly, that the first hint or notion of poor leadership or lord of the flies from the students and I will be out the door swiftly and will not look back.

Kathy has already decided the same thing.

We both suffered the tortures of the damned last year and neither of us will endure that again in any form.  Kathy has already renewed her nursing license and will be able to make use of that, easily, if the need arises.  I have signed on to sub in Rockingham County, again, if that need comes up. Neither of us will feel trapped. We won't be.

Aside from all this, with another year (our two) in the classroom, all of my debts from the IRS to the Miata will b retired. I will still have a house mortgage (gotta pay that today or tomorrow!!!) and will still have the RV but if and when I retire, again, one of the other will be history. AT least, that is how I plan it now.  Once I have $1500 more of available income each month, many things will change.

I still haven't finished exploring my old haunts from my earlier days in Florida and want too.  Want to jaunt down to the keys and Ft. Lauderdale and, eventually, to both Sea world and Discovery Cove too.

Kim, at Bees RV will be delighted.

I am  still way bitter about what happened in Clermont but since the RV park is located North Of Clermont and my commute 25 minutes) will mostly be on the Turnpike, I won't need to go into Clermont anymore than absolutely necessary.  Should I encounter anyone I knew from CLMS, I will likely be most direct and blunt, de;endkng, of course, on who it is.

Going out to the western mountains tomorrow and the CCR compadre, someone I had as a CIT. Wish the reunion, scheduled for this coming week, had worked out, but Mike's selfishness pretty well deep mixed that. Won't dwell on that. Why?  Life is too short.

Gotta settle this thing...

been sitting at home most all week, resting the leg. Think it's getting better. I am visiting my orthopedic surgeon on Monday to get one of my knee shots and will know then.

I am scheduled to be in Florida in three weeks.  If I am going to back out, I should have done it already or, at the least, within the next few days.

This isn't merely about finance; I just don't want my years in the classroom to end in a catastrophe as this past year  did.  Peculiar.  I got a copy of my probationary contract from last year in the mail today.  Wonder what the purpose of that was. To remind me that I was not renewed? Already knew that.

Pride coms before the fall.  It really does.

The vengeful part of me wants to strike back.  That would be dumb.

Besides, I've become a firm believer in karma.  

"vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.I will repay."

more economic calamity...

sitting in the waiting room at Camping world while repairs are made to the roof of my RV and while it is being given a safety inspection.  This is going to cost me about  grand or maybe more. Gotta stop coming to this place.  Last time I was here, a thorough cleaning cost me nearly $800.

Glad that the junior science camp is over and I vow to not do it again.  5 an 6 year olds are just too needy and helpless.

Thought I had the charter school issue settled in my mind, but I am not so sure now.  The lure of being able to pay off most or all of my debts in the next year is hard to ignore.

After what I endured the past year, a year with the corporate run charter school does not seem all that terrifying.

I still marvel that I actually survived it.

Going to have to decide soon.



Trump is pushing us towards civil war.

My detractors on the news and record site would howl with derusion over that.

It's not funny.  Not at all.

And I do not think any of it is coincidence.  Trump and his cohort want to drive us to rage and disorder.  That can be followed by a declaration of martial law, suspension of Posse Comatatus and Habeas Corpus.  Trump has already made mention of being president for more than two terms and of wanting the same adulation given to the dictator of North Korea.  Could things be more obvious?

Better get back to writing And Reap the Whirlwind before it comes to sinister life.  Did some editing and writing of My Country Tis of thee as well.  That one's relevance grows with each passing day as well.

I continue to heal....

took the initial wrappings off last night and replaced them with new ones, a day early.  I was just ready to do that.

Never again. Junior science for 5-6 year olds was a blunder.  Will just leave it at that.

I am having strong reservations about the charter school.  They do not allow pets.  Their school slogan mentions being "data driven."  Talked to the principal again, two days ago and remain convinced that he does not have both oars in the water.

The longer I am in NC, the more I come to realize that this is home for me, the place where I belong. I've spent most of the last two weeks in Rockingham County and continually meet up with people that I know, for one reason or another, some of whom I had in class.

Why can nothing be simple and straight forward for me? Not ever.

Maybe it's just time to settle down and return myself to full time retirement, again.

As I said once, I just don't want my career to end on a calamitous note but perhaps what happened was a sign, an omen, if you will....

Like I say, nothing ever seems simple for me.  It isn't this time either.

Just met up with a former student, again, in the Bojangles in Reidsville.  Just another sign that I need to be here and note elsewhere.

Life can be so crazy.

A church group just came in and, yes, I recognize several of them.  the student I spoke to helped arrange tables for them to sit.  That sort of thing is what we do here.  It's just our way.

I think I've made my decision.

I'm healing up...slowly...

took the initial wrappings off last night and replaced them with new ones, a day early.  I was just ready to do that.

Never again. Junior science for 5-6 year olds was a blunder.  Will just leave it at that.

I am having strong reservations about the charter school.  They do not allow pets.  Their school slogan mentions being "data driven."  Talked to the principal again, two days ago and remain convinced that he does not have both oars in the water.

The longer I am in NC, the more I come to realize that this is home for me, the place where I belong. I've spent most of the last two weeks in Rockingham County and continually meet up with people that I know, for one reason or another, some of whom I had in class.

Why can nothing be simple and straight forward for me? Not ever.

Maybe it's just time to settle down and return myself to full time retirement, again.

As I said once, I just don't want my career to end on a calamitous note but perhaps what happened was a sign, an omen, if you will....

Like I say, nothing ever seems simple for me.  It isn't this time either.

Just met up with a former student, again, in the Bojangles in Reidsville.  Just another sign that I need to be here and note elsewhere.

Life can be so crazy.

A church group just came in and, yes, I recognize several of them.  the student I spoke to helped arrange tables for them to sit.  That sort of thing is what we do here.  It's just our way.

I think I've made my decision.

It's been a turbulent week

GELS went well and concluded well.

Then Sunday morning, the 24th, in trhe predawn darkness, I tripped over some of the clutter in my kitchen and fell atop a small aquarium, breaking th aquarium and gouging my lower left leg.   Derep gouge.  Serious blood loss. Drove myself to Moses Cone (many were amazed that I was able to do that) and wound up having to have surgery.  A Facebook friend drove me home and then another one took me the next day to retrieve my car.  No way could I drive home after surgery.  Didn't even want to try.  Anestesia and I are not friends.

The people at RCC thought I should cancel my class for the week but I said no.  Getting around hasn't been easy but I have managed.

The little ones were difficult yesterday.  5 and 6 year olds.  And it was my idea too...

I am somewhat dubious....

Two of the little ones wanted to go home right away.  With one little girl, I had to distract her while her mother slipped out the back door. Another boy kept asking when they were going to go home.

Almost hope he doesn't come today.

Another boy would not even interact with anyone for a few hours after he arrived. he finally warmed up.


I wonder what today brings.  I will know in a few hours.

Gotta admit I miss my girls.

Meantime, I have posed some questions to my contact at Renaissance Charter school. No classroom pets allowed.  Lesson plans due two weeks in advance. Hmmm.....

I am still inclined to give it a try.  Main driving force remains financial.  By June of next year, virtually all my standing debts should be gone.  Neither do I want my career to end with calamity as it did in Clermont.  My military career came to an end like that and it still does not set well with me.

This I pledge.  First sign of Lord of Flies or administrative ineptitude, and I am North Carolina bound as soon as I can do it, turbulent ending or not.

Okay, so where am I?

GELs had gone well until today, when one girl stole another girl's rocket.  Three of her classmates turned her in. The stolen rocket has been returned to its rightful owner.

The girl on the left is the accused thief. Durn! Thought I left this sort of thing in Florida. Apparently not.

We launch the rockets tomorrow....in the 100 degree heat. Pondering whether our thief should participate.

I did not see her steal the rocket.  Her classmates did. Tomorrow is our last day. Perhaps we should just go on with things as they are I had pondered not allowing the thief to take part. I defiantly do not want her in any more of my classes.

This Lauren, the one I told, today, who might be the first female president.  She's brilliant.

A cute lil stinkbug. She's our youngest.

Slime again today.

Cheeto man signed another one of his obnoxious executive orders, this one putting a stop to the snatching of children from their parents at the border. This after he nearly had the country in open revolt over the practice, including even his fellow repubs.  So there is some decency left in them.  Amazing.

I wonder what the morrow brings....

Still chilling out...

Just don't feel any need to rush things.

cute little girl.....

We begin GELS (girls experiencing and learning the sciences) in a few days. Nine signed up so far. One is an alumni from last year. Her name is the only one I recognize from last year's crew, but I never have been good with remembering names.

that's her, on the right.

One of the good sides to taking time for myself is that I gain some perspective on how my life is going.  The not so good side is that I find myself pondering some of the things that are NOT so good. Never handled adversity so well.

A lot of the CCR crowd clamored for me and Mike to patch things up,  to settle our differences. If only they knew and understood some things that I do. They don't. So many think Mike is god. I know that he is the devil.  How can I ever "settle" a difference like that?

For most of my life, I've allowed people to control and manipulate me....Mary, Ma Barker (my former across the street neighbor), my very own Mother. Mike has been yet another one. The difference is that I now see him for who and what he actually is; few others in the CCR family do. Mike has controlled and manipulated most of us for decades. Small wonder he supports Trump; he is JUST like  him, very authoritarian, demand of personal worship, a pathological need to be the focus of attention. One who "adjusts" the truth to suit his need for dominance.  I saw it way back in 1975 after he returned from a year's absence and needed to reassert himself as the alpha male at camp chimney rock. The list could go on.

I don't plan to share any of it with the public. Doesn't mean that in a moment of passion I won't.

I know how I am.

Thus I need to avoid meeting up with Mike in a public setting.  That includes reunions. It's the reason I abdicated my role as reunion planner this year. Mike is pushing the notion that I dropped the proverbial ball and has conveniently avoided mention that it was he who made an issue about my being in charge of the reunion because I would no do his bidding and get back in contact. I did not want our conflict to ruin th reunion.

Another glaring example of the control and domination game.

He's an expert.

He will not control me ever again. not ever.

still decompressing

hardly left the house the last  few days.  part of the reason stems from my close encounter with the battery acid a few days back. they're pretty sure the eyes have suffered no permanent harm but I'm taking no chances.  The vision is still blurred a bit, at times (that could be the diabetes too) and occasionally the eyes get itchy and sting a bit.  Taking oral meds and have some salve to apply directly to the eyes and regions around the eyes. applied a liberal dose then bandaged the eyes, as I often do, stumbling about the house and front yard, sightless for most of the last couple of days. even found my way out to my to my new mailbox early yesterday morning, to determine if there was anything in it yet. there wasn't.

okay, I know I heard someone out here, some place....

Got an interesting phone call from Mr. Taylor of Renaissance Charter.  He called me by a different name, thinking I was someone I was not. I alerted him to the fact, but he continued on,  talking about some issue with uniform sales....I intervened again, lettting him know who I actually was.

It isn't the first time I have had such a conversation with Mr. Taylor.  A few weeks back, he called me, asking if I were interested in any of several vacancies the school had, forgetting, somehow, that he had already hired me to teach grade 8.

I've begun to wonder if the man has both oars in the water.....

another charter USA school in Kissimmee called today as well. so  did eustis middle school.

Lemme see now.,

Got me a repaired back door, a new mailbox (and can therefore close up my post office box) and have repaired with faucets in my bathroom. Yeah...been expensive, but one of the reasons I chose to work in Florida this  past year was so that I could afford to do all this.

Still a lot more to do, but that will depend on my level of income this summer.

Unless I am way off, Lake County schools still owes me another 5 checks.  I chose the 12 month pay option.

After that, things will depend on whether I do, indeed choose to return to 'florida and work in the charter schoiol.

Kathy and I spent well over an hour on the phone two days back, while the opluber was making his repairs.  We are both still decompressing from what was, for us both, the worst school year ever.

Do I want to chance another year like that?

Right now, that is a REAL question......

129/58

My blood pressure as measured at Greensboro Orthopedic today, down 35 points from a  month ago.

Geez....I wonder why.....

I felt funny, our there in public with my eyes all bandaged up. Looked funny too. Those shorts are WAY too short!!!

Will remedicate again tonight and probably bandage the eyes for one more day.  Different meds for a different condition, sulfuric acid in the eyes.  It scares me to think about how bad things could have been. Sulfuric acid is a 2 on the ph scale, a pretty strong acid.

And yeah, the short shorts have go to go.

It feels better each day to be back in the Carolinas.  The BP reading is yet another reason I may not go back to Florida. the voices of doubt grow louder.....

Got a new water heater.  That was the issue.  Had to running water at all last night and spent the night at the Relax Inn, after making sure what little H2O I had wave provided to the birds....
Not a particularly reassuring part of town but there were no issues. Had me wondering if I shouldn't look into a concealed carry permit.  Sybil has one now. Sad state of affairs.

My Canadian friend was right.  Years ago he said that America is in a battle for its soul. We are. And we must win. Compromise won't get it.  Our democracy is at stake.  Take the bastards down!

I just be chilling...

Fixed my back door, got a new mailbox....

Also got a me a face full of battery acid, day before yesterday, when myself and a technician were working on the RV, in process of pulling the battery out of its place. Still don't know why or what happened but there came what sounded liked a pop and the foul smelling fluid was all over my face. Seemed surreal. Fortunately, , the tech had a spray bottle, which he proceeded to spray into my face to dilute the acid.  several hours at Moses cone and I've spent two days with my eyes bandaged. the handy men came this morning and I saw (literally saw) no reason to keep them from putting in the mailbox.

I was lucky.  Just got the bandages off a few hours ago.  No scars that I see now.  Vision is a little blurry, but getting better.  When it rains....

Water stopped coming at the house.  The plumber comes timoirroiw morning.  So does an electrician. The house needs some serious work. I mean to get some of it done.

It's officially over now...

turned in the car hauler today and have the RV parked at the end of the driveway...

I did it.  I survived.

an omen, I hope....

For the past couple of days, I have been languishing at home, just enjoying the relative calm and tranquility.

Wow.  What a year.  It leaves me seriously wondering if I even want to go back to Florida at all...and if I had to decide, right this moment, the answer would be no.

Mike and I got into it on the CCR chat site.  I had suggested that those who could make it for a gathering should do it, on the originally set date, in Hickory Nut Gorge. I got accosted, asked if that was true of all "my friends" (he isn't anymore) and made another demand that he and I needed to "talk."

I want nothing to do with Mike. nothing.

The others were all clamoring for us to settle things. I have...for me.

More terse words≥ Mike told me that I needed to "grow up" and I proceeded to inform him that I was through being manipulate and controlled.

Said I would discuss things no more and withdrew from the group. Didn't know that would make it hard to return to the chartroom too see if anyone said anything else.  Thought I had been blocked or banned and asked, on FB, if that were so.  Was told I had not been.  Then this morning, mike sent me a link to get back into the chatroom. "no strings," he said.

The arrogant narcissist just doesn't get it.  The others don't get it either, don't understand how they have been played and manipulated for decades.

Not gonna press the issue. Not going back to the chartroom either.

Sent a reply to Mike's message with the link in it:"no thanks."

I've had me enough.