It begins in the morning....

I attend "new beginnings," orientation for new people.  Imagine "new" at age 68. Astounding.

Mass at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church was amazing this morning. Rather than the poisonous, repressive atmosphere of condescension  I felt at St. Paul,  this was actually a celebration. The celebrant spoke TO us during the omily, rather than AT us as one would with a naughty child. He even had a decided sense of humor.  The pastoral staff of a church is key. This one was warm and welcoming rather than harsh and oppressive.  

I had really feared that the separation from the faith of thy birth was permanent. I think had I remained in Greensboro, it would have been.  And I didn't realize, until today, that it meant that much to me.  It seemingly does.  A surprise?  It used to be so much a part of me. Taught in catholic schools for ten years although, at times, my experiences there were less than affirming.  That, too, was a result of poor and visionless leadership, but I've come to see that as a problem with the entire hierarchy of the Catholic Church.  But the hierarchy, from the "boys in red" all the way down to Pope Urban, are NOT the church; that would be the people, the laity, the "body of Christ" as you were. Yes, I have issues with the "authorities," but that isn't anything new for me.

Did an Apple workshop on keynote, an app similar to powerpoint but oh so much more user friendly. It was one of the best workshops I've ever attended.  Am busy working on a presentation for the first day of school. Driving into Orlando was not the most pleasant experience, but it was certainly worth the trip.

While we are speaking of surprises, let's mention another one.  I actually feel relieved being here in 'Clermont. Not only was my LONG and fairly difficult journey over, the RV set up, and the car trailer returned, things appear to be working out for me.  It was financially draining.  A painful truth? The insurance money for the jeep enabled me to make this move.  Bad things sometimes have good outcomes.  Still wish I had not lost the jeep though.

The relief goes deeper than all that.  Ma Barker seemed to have gone, but I still found myself glancing in the rear view mirror each time I arrived home in my driveway, half expecting to see her coming down the driveway to ask me for something.  The rednecks across the street are no longer and issue, unless, of course, they choose to torch my house, which would actually be a "left handed" favor. Strange reasoning, I know.

It goes deeper than that.  During my years in the Greensboro area, I have experience a fair amount of trauma and upset.  That's not all I've known, of course.  I shall miss the people at rock middle this year and some of the locals have been good to me, but I still remember the awful times at P{least Garden, the turmoil and betrayal at Pius X and at the science center.  I was reminded of them every week; I need to move past them.  Being here might accomplish that.  That, all by its lonely, would be a blessing.

Which brings us to a question that I cannot deny or ignore.  Will I really want to go back there after this school year is ended?

I

Well, I surprised myself today...

went to reconciliation at blessed sacrament Catholic Church in clermont. I will actually attend mass tomorrow- first time in awhile.

The priest was very cordial and had a sense of humor, nothing like my experiences with the last two I've had to endure.  What a decided relief!

Visited what was the sou,the lake YMCA. It is now the imagine charter school. I am developing a decided disdain for charter schools...

settling in...

Water and electric hooked up.  Got my first scare.  Both the AC and my microwave went out at the same time.  The microwave I can survive without; the AC?  Went out and flipped the breaker. Things are fine now. Guess I will have to cut off the AC when I use the microwave.

We Americans are so spoiled.  We are. Turn off the electricity and we are helpless.

Went for an early morning swim.  The water was like bath water.  Trying to uncluttered the RV. Quite a task.  Haven't checked on the  house via ADT, yet.  Actually would not mind it if the skanks burned the place down now that me and my birds aren't there.  What does that mean?

The "skinny repeal" of Obamacare failed, by one vote. One.  Senator McCain voted no.  Three republicans bucked their party and THEIR "president" (not mine) to do this, a rare act of courage and integrity in times like these.  I've honestly come to regard Republicans as evil.  How else can I explain the things they do and say, anymore.

Not that democrats are saints.  Hillary lost the election; Trump didn't actually  win.  She's corrupt and dishonest.  They say that polls tell us that Biden, Sanders and Warren would all beat Trump easily, but 2020 is a long way away.  Polls said Trump would never win in 2016.  He got elected despite that.
point,

If I am to succeed and not disappoint, I will have to bring my "A game" at Clermont Middle.

My preliminary feelings?  Clermont Middle is a small school with a dedicated faculty. They appear dedicated to one another, too.

They do "PBS," something I've never had a good feeling about, but may "gut" tells me it's a different thing here.  They reward "above and beyond" behaviors, not routine ones and there are clearly defined consequences for those who do not toe the proverbial line.  I shall see, of course, but I've a good feeling.

People here are friendly, nothing like they were in Broward County, years ago. People actually want talk to you and get to know you.  The people at the local RV place helped me find a generic key to open my water port.  I have apparently misplaced that particularly key.

People here at Bee's wave at everyone.  The person I met the night I arrived should be sainted.  She's an air force vet and helped me get to my site. Don't know where I or the birds would have been without her.

I fear being overly optimistic.  Too many times I have known disappointment; don't want that to happen again.  But that is how I see it so far.

Time will tell.

I never want to do this again ....

16 hours.

16 freaking hours it took me.

well, it worked.  Both Miata and RV are safely here in Clermont

I'm amazed.  I was up at just past 7 AM this morning and off to Clermont Middle, despite not getting in last night until after 9 and not getting to bed until past 11.

Yesterday was the LONGEST day I can ever remember.  What an ordeal.  I must have more stamina than I ever thought.  Still not fully "moved in" and it might take me weeks to unclutter the RV. But I am here and I am determined to make this work.

I am encouraged at what I see thus far. Gonna refrain from making anymore comments right now. I need to a few days to digest and synthesize things as I am too often prone to making snap judgment.  Not good.

It begins in the morning....

...VERY early.

I want to avoid the early morning traffic and rush.

It does seem bizarre to be headed off on this adventure at age 68.  Some, my age, have already checked themselves into retirement homes.  Others didn't make it to my age.  Val was but 56. Life can be such an oddity.

Hooking the trailer up didn't take long.  I have yet to load the Miata but that will happen in a few hours.  Getting the RV and trailer turned around in the back yard was problematic.  I had to cross a neighbor's  back yard to do it.

This will be a LONG and tiring trip.  Max speed will be but 55 MPH and I plan to stop a LOT.  Might not make it to Clermont the first day and that is okay by me.  I don't have to listen to Mike harassing me about how long the trip will take me.  Don't plan on dealing with him ever again.  I've yet to unfriend Mike on Facebook but I'm going to.  Gotta be sure to not publicize my location on FB until I have.

This country is going crazy.  Shootings.  Veterans being deported.  Healthcare about to become the province of the few.  The head goon, of course, continues to embarrass us all.

As I've said already, this country becomes more and more, with each day, something akin to the fictional Panem of Hunger Games fame.

We'll survive, the neocons say...we endured 8 years of Obama.  They're so delusional.  And they just don't get it.  Our way of life, our traditions, our very democracy is on the line here, nothing less.

Freedoms taken away are seldom restored...

It won't be long now...

ADT camera is fixed.  That's a  relief.

Republithugs voted to begin debate on repealing Obamacare.  It took the VP casting a tie breaking vote to do it.
The ACA isn't repealed yet, but it could happen, now. These people have no conscience - none.












I pick up the trailer tomorrow morning.  Jim and Julie have agreed to come help me load up the Miata.  It doesn't sound complicated, but neither was flat towing the Jeep and look what happened there.

Almost spilled a full cup of tea on my computer. I've long been told not to eat or drink around computers and I still don't heed that warning.  Small wonder there have been so many catastrophes in my life lately.

Change #1

My ADT Camera is not working and must be repaired, so my departure for the Sunshine State is delayed until Thursday   No huge thing.  I don't have to be there until the following Monday, July 31st.

"Science adventures" appears to have been a rousing success.

Things were a tad bit messy but we coped. Had seven kids. No significant problems.  And yes, they want an encore for next summer.  That depends on a number of things, none of which I can predict at the moment.

I still have plenty to do before departure and, like so often, I seem to be behind schedule on most of it.

Attended Cole's birthday party last night.  The Daniels are friends from way back, about 30 years. We were neighbors.  They've relocated since then, as have I.  I know their grandchildren, of which Cole is one, from Rock middle as well.

Little question I will miss the people at Rock.  I was there, in one capacity or another, for 9 years, longer than anywhere else in my lifetime.

I've commented before, but it bears doing again.  I am so very different from the overwhelming number of people in that community in terms of faith and in terms of politics (I hate that term) yet the connection, particularly with the kids, was the strongest I had ever experienced. Some things just don't make sense. Sometimes they don't need to.









I find myself pondering what's ahead of me.  Sixty eight years of age and headed off on yet another "adventure."  I've lived in Florida, before, and so this won't be a totally alien place, but I am sure the state and the people there are different than what I am accustomed to.

The school community will be different too. New people. New challenges.  I am determined to make it happen, but cannot deny that I must guard against preconceived notions and possible "imaginings" that could derail the whole thing.  I still do not handle adversity well, but know I am much better at it than I used to be, even a few years ago.

I will be the only male faculty member in grade 6 and, as such, I know I will be the subject of scrutiny and possibly of skepticism.  Being much older than most, I will also be more susceptible to stereotypes and, possibly, resentment.  Middle aged woman can be bitches; no nicer way to say it. Some of the younger ones too. I should not allow that to derail me.

Things might be difficult, at first. I still wonder why Mr. McCue was so determined to have me on staff. I guess I will find out now.

I want this to be another "adventure."  It's a portion of the reason I am undertaking this journey.

Most at my age feel inclined to mellow out and take it slow. I guess I am just not ready to do that...if I ever will be.

Life is a journey, not a destination. I think that is an original, but it sounds too profound to be my creation.  Will have to check it out.

The day grows near....

seems somewhat surreal, still.

Jim came by and patched up my roof....well, when the rains come, I guess we'll know for sure. Jim and Julie are hippies. They are. They're also just some outright neat people.

A little scare...

The principal at clermont Middle told me that my hire situation was not yet resolved, pending my transcripts and licensure;  he emailed shortly thereafter to let me know that, according to a "high power," I was all set.

Whew!

And here I am about to head south.

I've been surprised before...and not in a good way....

I found myself pondering my spiritual situation today.  Not exactly sure how or why, but there I was.

I feel rather like Gandhi...

"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians.  They are so unlike your Christ."

Talked to Sharon today.  She gushed on and on about how she is praying for me and hoping for the best for me in my move to Florida....

Sounded about as valid as a three dollar bill.

Not nice, I know.

This whole situation is making it hard to believe much in Christianity or Christians.

I want to believe. I do, but it's problematic.

one week to go

I just reserved a car trailer with U haul.  They showed me how to use it.  It doesn't look complicated. I hope it is not.

Still have awful thoughts about the jeep.  Saw a Patriot today and it was painful.  Don't think I will ever flat tow any vehicle ever again.

It will be the longest journey I have ever attempted in an RV.  Definitely going to take my time and stop often. Thankful, I am, that I don't have Mike around to taunt me about how long it will take me.  Stale ridicule. That's the optimum term and it fits.

If the journey takes me two days, then that is what it will take.  Might want to stop off in an RV camp along the way, just so see what it's like.

I keep remembering the movie "RV" with Robin Williams.  Hope I don't wind up in the predicaments he did.






I remained determine to make this thing in Florida work out for the better.  Never thought it would come to pass, but here it is.  Neither did anyone else.  I can imagine the grief I would be having to endure if Mike were still in the picture.

Last time an opportunity came up in Clermont, he outright told me to "leave it alone." My being in Florida apparently does not serve his needs properly. That's cold, to say, but that is what it all comes down to: Manipulation and exploitation, with a few control games thrown in for good measure.

Science discovery started off well, today; only 5 of the 10 showed up.  Four girls and one well mannered boy.  A good group thus far.

A week from tomorrow

Seems almost surreal.

It does.

Still not settled on whether I will drive the RV down, first, and then return for the Miata or dare to tow the Miata.

The notion of towing anything terrifies.

Decision time.

Another summer science session begins tomorrow, this one for elementary kids of both genders.

I am told I have ten.

I am also told that the local newspaper, the News and Record, wants to do an article on me.

Not sure how that came about, but here it is.

I guess a little public exposure is okay.  I've become a little reluctant where that kind of thing is concerned.

Mr. McCue responded that I might be asked to lead a tour for a  group at the orientation.  They promise, of course, to orient me, first, of course.  Good idea.

I shall endeavor to fly beneath the radar at my new place, at least for awhile.  Some don't handle it well when the new guy comes in and makes a spectacle of himself.  I made a fairly big splash, 9 or 10 years ago, when I first came to Rock middle; Sybil, the reigning science guru did not handle it well. We became friends later on, but at first, she and I banged heads, a lot.

Something similar happened upon my arrival at western alamance years earlier.  The "old guard" wants to test your mettle, I guess and reassert their dominance, kind of like a lion would resent any challenge to his dominance in his pride.

Gonna go sexist and say that often times it is females who are the worst at this. Insecurity? Motherly instinct?  Old fashioned arrogance?

All schools have an element like that. I'm determined to avoid a clash with them, but will not yield, meekly this time. Not looking for a fight and hope I have the wisdom to steer clear of one if it presents itself, but I am going back into the classroom mostly because I desperately miss working with kids and not to get into a power struggle.

I still have two Facebook pages, despite efforts to remedy that by deactivating one of them.  It came back to "life" on its own; not sure just how.  No matter.  So I am going todo what I do whenever my technology malfunctions on me and nothing else works - I am going to delete both pages and make a new one.  Put notice on fb the last two days and have asked anyone who wishes to remain fb friends to either PM of like my post. I plan to do this for three more days.  thus far, about 25 of my 70 "friends" have responded. Could be this is an area where I need a new beginning too?

Mike liked my fb post both yesterday and today. So he IS watching me. A few moments ago I c aught myself pondering the reestablishment of contact with them.  Gotta get that notion out of my thoughts.

No response on my letter to the editor.  Perhaps tomorrow.

Getting ready....

cancelled Time Warner today.  They tried to lure me into just deactivating or turning my account over  to someone else.  Likely just doing what her boss told her.  Corporations....

Just wrote another letter to the editor:

The ongoing Republican assault on public and higher education, led by Education Secretary DeVos, is unfortunate, but predictable.  The educated usually think for themselves, ask a lot of questions, to which they expect competent and relevant answers, and expect the opportunity for self-improvement, as well as both financial and social upward mobility.  That isn’t a part of the plan for Donald Trump’s America.  Trump and his GOP pals seek to reduce America to its proverbial lowest common denominator,  develop a servile class (most of us) and to erode American democracy until we are similar to a feudal society, where all yield to the whim of the landed nobility and meekly accept their station in life.  What befuddles me is how so many who would be “serfs” in that feudal society are so loyal to their future Lords. They’re told to “work hard, be responsible; someday you too will be rich.”  Very difficult to do working for $7.40 an hour at Wallmart.

The neocons will lose their minds, of course....

Here I am, attacking people who don't agree with me. Again.

Not attacking the people, but rather, their ideas.

Like talking to a cascading waterfall.





Going to attend the 6th grade orientation on August 2nd.  My contract doesn't even begin until August 3rd, but this is about the kids, not the contract.  That's what I told them when they asked me if I would come.  Mr McCue mentioned that something needs to happen to make the 6th graders feel ready.  Was that a veiled message?  Or am I dealing with "imaginings" again?  Why is it this happens to me so much?

Been picking up notebooks, like I used to. I'm told they have a "teachers store" for all of the "new teachers."  They also have something like "go fund me."

We never had support like that in NC...

262 - fully clothed

yep....the weight is back.  Knew it was.  Lake County has a medical program for their employees and a portion of it deals with weight.  Need to hook up with them when I become eligible, November 1.

Dr. B was bitter and sarcastic.  Durned near walked out on him.  He invited me to if I didn't 't like what was happening.  I understand his bitterness and frustration but it's not my doing and I didn't appreciate being the target of his tantrums.

Think I need to seek my fortunes in healthcare someplace else. I've had me enough.

There was a crash of a marine aircraft in Mississippi; the flight originated at the Cherry Point Naval Air Station, near where Mike's son is stationed.  I actually messaged Deb and asked if he was on that plane. No answer.  I guess, as Mary would have said, the Griffins are not deep into a snit over our situation. They always did that when one did not bend to their will or do their heeding.  I still remember how they cast me adrift, way back in the early 1980s when they were booted out of CCR and I chose to go back. They and I were out of touch for about 20 years after that, partly due to our differences on that and partly because they lost track of me. Sad, but maybe that is just the way it needs to be. Deb isn't so much a problem as is Mike. Deb is a true people person; yes, she can be quite controlling at times and delusional concerning her younger son, but Deb cares about people. Mike cares about Mike and uses people to get the things he wants. I had a step brother like that. Watched him manipulate people for decades.  Cannot stand that kind of thing.

Getting geared up for my return to the classroom.  Want to make it a good one and need to steer clear of some of those "imaginings" that seem to trip me up, at times.  There are bound to be some domineering types, ones who think they own the place.  Have begun to think Mr. M brought me on board to help break their grip on the place.  I have my suspicions.  I just want no part of a battle like that. I need to be careful not to bet expecting trouble, going in; that alone can create havoc. I know.

Am now thinking of driving the RV down, then flying back and picking up the car and driving it down. To some that makes little sense, but they haven't been through the trauma of watching a vehicle burn while they were towing it, like I have.

I attended Vic's memorial service last evening.  I swear three fourths of Graham was there.  Even saw my former principal at Graham Middle. We didn't speak. Not sure she even noticed me. So much the better, perhaps.

The man was often cantankerous and difficult, sometimes, but as they kept saying during the service, he was genuine, not pretentious.  Methinks he kind of lost it during this past election, as he supported Trump.  That was due to the notion that Hillary was going to take away everyone's guns. That was a card the NRA and their allies played a lot. Vic was a lifelong democrat, one of the few left in his county.  I think the notion of a woman sitting in the oval office didn't go over well with him either. Yeah, Vic could be a little old fashioned, too.

The last time I saw him, months ago, I had a sense I had seen him alive for the final time.  I was right.

Damned Squirrel

For two days I have been alarmed about something I saw on my ADT video camera. Thought maybe the skanks across the street were harassing me. Looked more closely at one of the videos today and realized the culprit was a squirrel, flitting about in a small tree near the house.Whew!

I think I need to stop frequenting the news and record editorial page.  Too many delusional and easily led people post there and I am allowing them to affect my morale.  Don't need that.

A little over a week and I am headed south.

Still not sure just how long I will be in Florida. Ten days? Ten years? LOL! I doubt I will even live that much longer. I've surprised myself and others before.

North Carolina has been my home for a long long time, 41 years. I like being here, but I've begun to realize that I am growing more and more weary of stupid. It pains me to say, but we have an increasing amount of it here.

I plan to return here, eventually. It's how I feel right now. I know how I can change on a whim.

Tonight I find myself thinking that if things don't turn around and turn around swiftly, like buy the elections in 2018, then I might just take that slow boat to Costa Rica after all....

Some good news.  My BP is back to normal now. 117,/76.  And most of the abdominal pain is gone.

eye exam

yep.  time for that. the doctor tells me that both eyes look good; no complications from my diabetes - not yet.  I am sure that day will come.

That appears to be happening. Th rest of us are fighting back, as best we can, but right now, the enemy holds all the trump cards (no pun intended) and we are still at a definite disadvantage.  We don't need to let that stop us from our resistance.  I remain convinced that if we don't fight back, in any way we can, democracy is doomed.

I've sure seen enough of this!

The days before my departure are few, now.  The whole thing still seems just a touch unreal, but I remain determined to make this happen.

Mr. McCue called yesterday to offer me four gifted classes, but they are all in social studies. I thanked him but said that science is my passion.  No surprise - to either of us.

It would appear that my ploy (and it was just that, I admit) of applying for gifted ed certification was noted.  Good.

The eye doctor dilated my eyes.  Didn't even know it until my vision got a bit funny.  Things are still "funny" right now. Had to drive home with semi-sunglases on.  Not good.  My vision was a bit problematic. Nearly pulled out in front of another car.  Decided to bring it on home.

No more info on my eye malady.  They still don't even have a name for it.

What a conundrum!!!!

In the ER at wesley long tonight

couldn't 't put it off anymore.  The pain isn't bad, but it is persistent.  Stomach pain and pain radiating up the back. BP 174/88. IT'S never been that high.
Bracing for impact....

And I hope it hasn't.

Nothing significant found but I still feel a bit nauseous so the doctor is prescribing some meds for it.

whew!!!

woke up feeling rough this morning....

pain in the top center of my back won't go away. Feels like I strained a muscle or some such a thing. The stomach doesn't feel well either.

Pondering a trip to the emergency room, this evening, if things don't get better.

Eye troubles again.

Spent much of the day, yesterday with  the eyes bandaged up, some of it sitting out on the front porch, in full view of the world - it was a nice day. Tried to ignore it, but things only got worse. Removed the blindfold around 1 PM and the infection flared up again. No respite.  Replaced the bandages (blindfold) after medicating again and that did the trick.  I was able to return to the world of the sighted again about 8 PM last evening.

So far, so good today and it's just past midday.

I am hoping this malady will not occur so much, if at all, once I relocate to 'Florida.

The assistant principal in charge of grade 6 at Clermont Middle sent me a tentative schedule. I wasn't expecting to have any advanced classes, but right now, I have two and might have more. Pleasant surprise. I think...


I'm "borrowing" trouble (don't I always?) but after looking into the background of this AP, I discovered that yes, he is a published author (envy!!!) but he is also, apparently someone with a great deal of religious training, seemingly of the evangelical order.  I will try and NOT make that an issue and hope he will too.

I grow increasingly hostile to "religion" with each passing day, hearing and seeing the spoutings of people who SAY they are "christian" but who seemingly do NOT mirror the teachings of Jesus, at least, the way I see them.  The problem with "religion" is people, not God.  I wish I didn't feel like I do, at times...my faith used to be so much a part of my everyday life.  The people at Pius X (some of them) did much harm there, as have some at St Paul...

My recurring trouble is that I do not handle adversity well...not at all. That's gotten me into difficulty many times.

"Stinkbug," from last summer. 

As I already said, I have seven signed up for my science adventures at RCC's "eaglemania" week after next.

They'll be younger kids this time, four girls and three boys, a chance for me to infuse some interest and curiosity for the sciences in younger children.

Not certain as to future plans. Some of that will not be in my hands. RCC has already said they want me to come again next summer.  Their person in charge has not been at all dependable and I've made a mess of things myself, a few times. We'll see how the next round goes.

Not seeking to be morbid, but at my age, health is not as certain as it once was; that could be an issue as well. I only hope that isn't a prophetic statement.

A possible glimmer in the gloom, another one

The republithugs control the white house, the supreme court and  both houses of congress, yet they cannot shed themselves of the hated Obamacare...

Why not?

Mostly because a LOT of angry people have come out in the press and at town meetings and the like and have vociferously denounced their efforts.  The House is dominated by the tea party mentality and they BARELY passed "trumpcare."  Senate support was never particularly strong and is now declining even further.  The likelihood of passage for a repeal and "replacement" bill is most doubtful  and finally, the GOP is seeing the apparent wisdom in reforming and repairing what is in place, rather than trying to do what they have tried to do for years - repeal Obamacare.  too many americans, many of them trump voters in very "red" states, have  abruptly figured out that while obamacare isn't good, it is the only decent game in town, right now.

Took them long enough.

I've been quite plain about this on Facebook

Seven children have signed up for Science adventures in Eaglemania (they finally issued me a contract today) for week after next, four girls and three boys.

July 4th wasn't something I celebrated

Perhaps I am giving in to my cynical side.  Some would say so.  Anymore, I givc a damn less about what people think.

What? June is gone?

I move south in but a few weeks.  don't feel really ready. Don't want to miss the boat on this one!

What more  an I add to that??????