and so...

2017 is history at midnight.

Good riddance!!!

/sone medical excitement on this, the final day of 2017.  Driving south own church street extension, enroute to a gathering of leftist miscreants, I was suddenly overcome by dizziness and nausea and had to pull off the road abruptly.

My first thought: a heart attack.I was headed for the great beyond. I quickly said an act of contrition and hunted for my cell phone, to call 9!!.  Could not find it, of all times...  After a few minutes of sitting, my head cleared enough and I drove south, cautiously, at last arriving at Moses Cone ER. Could not find the patient entrance at first and it was COLD today.

Made my way inside and they quickly took me in when I uttered the phrase "heart patient." Blood work, vitals, CAT scan....

Ear rocks.    What?  Ear rocks (like kidney stones) had formed in my ears and thrown may sense of balance out of whack.

I'm home and have some meds to deal with the nausea and dizziness.  Feel better now.

Miss my much anticipated meeting with other "leftists."  Drat.

Didn't to much  but rest this week. It's what I needed to do anyway.

On my way south tomorrow sometime.  Won't be staying up to watch the ball drop. No matter. Don't have any cable here anyhow...

Headed back the day after tomorrow

My time here seemed incredibly brief.  Mixed feelings for sure.  Won;'t miss the cold here in Carolina. I will miss some of the people here.  Met up with two of them for lunch today, one of them a former student, decades ago.  Natasha lost her father not long ago and is still trying to work things out with that.  Think I saw some signs of recovery today.  for her sake, I hope I did.

well....

at least they didn't put me in the hospital.

269 pounds

BP:  161/91

My BP meds are being doubled.

I might as well have never done the lap band.  All the weight is back. All of it.

Discouraged.  Not gonna ponder it anymore just now.  Things MUST change; no option, or it will be game set and match.

Very cold again today. It is December.

I want to believe this. Lately, I've been having my doubts.

Heard back, via email, from sybil.  She rarely responds.  She, too, is discouraged.  Things at her Virginia school are similar to mine in Florida.  Admin is overwhelmed.  The crazies are everywhere. She drives to and from school with a gun in her car, something that could get her fired if it was discovered on school grounds.

Fear.

It deludes,. I deceives.  It makes people crazy.

She commented on my move to Costa Rica, says she does not blame me.  My health doesn't improve and that becomes a pipe dream, one I will never realize.

When democrats won the Senate seat in Alabama and two attempts at repealing Obamacare failed, I was hopeful. Maybe we could turn things around.

Now, with the tax reform passage,  I am despaired again.  Next up on the target list is social security and medicare.

How could this have happened?

What ca  be done?

Not much, at the moment. Not until the 2018 elections and maybe not even then.

The enemy holds the high ground.  So does stupid.  We are outnumbered but only because so many are either apathetic, deluded, or just dirt water dumb.

We are, indeed, a nation of sheep and we are being led to the slaughter.

and going to get yet colder

an arctic blast of air is on the way; snow has already been mentioned. 32 for a high tomorrow. Meantime, it's 76 in Clermont...

Kind of a low key visit this go around. Not scheduled to see anyone until Sunday afternoon, when the aged leftists gather. I head back to Florida the next day.

Dental visit today; teeth cleaning.  Cardio  tomorrow. My BP was high today.  At least the feet are not swelling to the degree they did.

It almost seems like open revolt is our only option anymore.  The enemy holds all the cards, the White House, both houses of congress and the court. They control most state houses and state legislatures.  And the oligarchs are pressing their advantage too.

Seems as those many have gone over to the dark side, believing Trump's lies or have just become disgusted and given up.

I have to admit that I am close to being in that second group.  Already looking for information on relocating to Costa Rica.....

And I hate that.

and it's cold Too!

In the thirties..and there is mention on snow in a few days.  So long as it doesn't strand me here in the Carolinas....

Odd, I never thought for a moment that I would use the word "strand" in regards to North Carolina.

Yes, I plan to return to Florida next week.  While I am no longer raving angry about what happened, I do have some misgivings.  Who wouldn't?

It's no longer complicated. Indeed, it is just as I said from the outset: if they don't want me, tell me, and I will will motor on home.  Told them that verbally, at the "discipline" meeting for the world to hear. I mean it still.  Something awful happens again and they don't need to bother with any kind of an investigation.. I will pack up that every day and head out.

It is my hope and prayer that that will never happen again .

Cold and dreary weather always gets me down.  It's been like that a fair amount of the time since I returned here. It is finally sunny today.

I recall, during those few years I resided in the midwest, how entire weeks would be like that.  It always depressed me.

I once more find myself thinking of leaving the country and relocating to Costa Rica.  I've toyed with it before.  There's no military there, a reasonably stable democracy and the temperature is almost constant, year round, the only difference being between the rainy and dry seasons.

I just do not like the kind of a country we have become and now find myself wondering if we will ever be able to find out way back.

It goes deeper than politics although I fault the republicans more than the dumocrats. Both are dominated by the oligarchs; voters know it too and that is why Clinton did not win, that and the fact that she is female. Going from the first non  white president to the first female one was just a leap we were not prepared to make.

There is more bigotry and intolerance than I ever believed.  Nazis blatantly chanting "You will not replace us" and splouiting Nazi propaganda and slogans....never saw it coming.  Still don't believe it.

Well, yes I do. I have seen it.  I have heard it. It just defies understanding.

And "Christian" people are leading the proverbial charge.

and I cannot help but think that...

How can a real Christian ever say that Trump is a gift from God? HOW??

So many alleged followers of the carpenter's son have forgotten the words that He spoke or, at least, their true meaning.  They are obsessed with controlling others, forcing us to follow THEIR rules, their intepretations of the Master's word.

Guns, gays and abortion.  Somehow they have persuaded the small minded that the feds are after their guns, that the gay shall inherit the earth and that they must opposed abortion, no matter what.  They say they are "pro-life," yet they favor capital punishment, deny veterans the benefits we have earned and have a right to, and would deny children the good and medical care they need.

How does that fit it in with "do this for the least...."????

Answer: it doesn't.

God is NOT a republican. Jesus DEFINETLY is not.

The sole reason the re;publithugs pushed through their most recent atrocity, the tax "cut" is that they have convinced a LOT of people to vote against their own best interests.

There is a lot of stupid in this country right now. Getting rid of stupid is like ridding oneself of roaches....

Leaving the country will involve working, most likely, another year.  It will take that long to eliminate all my debts, to either fix the house or dump it and leave now strings attaching me to the mother country .

Should I go, I most likely will never come back.  The thought of that is the only thing making me hesitate.

Home again

Took me a bit longer than I thought.  Traffic on 95 was impossible.  It's cold. No surprise. It is winter now.

Not even going to think about school until the end of this week.

Another Christmas Day by myself.  I don't like Christmas. Haven't for a long time.

Whew!!!!

Made it to Christmas break.....

I remain traumatized by what happened, but I have survived and I do not feel the searing rage I did at one time, not so long ago.

That in itself is a great relief.

Attended a union meeting last evening. Not so optimistic about that.  I will remain a union member but will attend no more union meetings.  The new building rep has his own "agenda" and it seems to me he will use his position as a "bully pulpit" to push it. I will have none of that.  The man is a high school teacher, by philosophy and by attitude.  too many here are.

A notion was discussed about adjusting scheduling and approach at clms and the man was emphatic against it and would consider no other view point. He wasn't particularly diplomatic about it either.

I got up and left. Chances were good that I might say something I would later regret.  Didn't want that to happen.

Sitting at the local Mazda dealer awaiting repairs; both my low beam headlights went out at once. Cannot drive home like that. Once they are repaired, it is my intent to depart as soon as I can.

today was peculiar...

It just was....

came to school, expecting to be persona non grata.  Expected the cold shoulder.  I was the "enemy," the one questioned it all.

I did not and will NOT go back on a word of what I said. Not a syllable. What I said needed saying.

None of what I expected actually happened. Like before, I was greeted cordially.  The kids were no different. Neither was any member of the administration.

Another midterm exam day.  Two of them.  We also dug for fossils.  The kids were ecstatic. They loved it.  Long day. It was that. One more and we begin winter break.

The Griffins are trying to reestablish contact.  I got a FB greeting and an email, wishing me a happy 69th birthday.  Mike says he still considers me a friend.  I do not share his assessment of the situation. I must resist!!!!

Left school relatively early.  didn't bring that much home with me, but will deal with the little I brought.

I think all the furor over discipline actually did some good.  Reaction to situations has been steady and relatively swift the last few days. Maybe we got their attention.

Peculiar.

As I headed north on highway 27, with my top down, I realized that the anger is gone.

I don't feel it anymore.

Most peculiar.

Spilled my guts....

I was one of two who did.  Others all sided with the status quo. Tonight I feel like a fool./


Happy birthday to me.

IU am feeling bit schizophrenic...

ine dayI feel the anger subsiding...the next, it flares yet again....

As I have said, I have never handled difficulty well; not ever.

The discipline meeting is in two days...on my 69th birthday....

I plan to spill my guts.

wonder if I will ever get over this completely....

Never been good at letting things go.  It's no different this time.

Have seen three people, two of them men, do the very same thing I was persecuted for. Today I attended a dance, where the perpetrators were allowed to be in residence.  It's like what they did never happened and I am furious.

Still conflicted

Got a call this morning offering an interview for a 5th grade position at a local elementary school. I was tempted, for about 0.6 seconds.

No.

I came south to teach 6th grade science.  I will do that or go home to Carolina.

I refuse to hold back on my feelings.  I posted this on facebook this evening. No more worrying about offending facebook friends.  This is war. We must win.

"The hottest place in hell is reserved for those who, in times of crisis, chose to remain neutral"
                                                                              Dante

The union meeting is going forward after all.  Mr M. made it sound like he was hosting it, a technique he is apparently known for doing.

I will speak at the meeting and will tell how I feel.  Some will not because of fear. I fear none. I can just go home and I will.

A miracle happened in Alabama....deep red Alabama; a democrat won a senate election. I feared the republithug would, despite his being a creep.  I am ecstatic at being wrong. It is the first time in months that I feel hope, real hope.  And I love it.

Now I am conflicted ...

And I hate it.

There is a big meeting coming up.  Two meetings actually.

One involves the union, meeting with the superintendent over conditions at CLMS.

Been there before.  Didn't go well at all.

The other involves an admin arranged meeting  with what amounts to the second in command. Mr. M is trying to cover himself.  Wants to address "rumors."  One rumor claims he is looking at eliminating art class.  He denies that emphatically.  I have not heard about that.

Mr. M also claims he is not "after" anyone over referrals or their involvement with the discipline committee. That one I have heard about.  I sort of believe it.

From the start, I have heard (and seen) that admin does not back us.  The kids run the school. They do. That is the reason they felt empowered enough to do what they did to me.  And I am not the only one that's being harassed and bullied.

Bullied...never though I would ever apply that term to me.  Never.  But it's true. It's happening.

These kinds of things seldom end well.

Bureaucracy will defend itself and its own.  I did not come south to deal with this....

I am still livid...

And it doesn't seem anywhere closer to being over....

I didn't want to go this morning

didn't want to.

My second day back was okay, but I am becoming more and more aggrieved at admin every hour.

Jensen Beach

 Sitting here at the Cafe.

Earlier I sat at a table just across from the beach itself.  Haven't been on the beach as of yet, but I plan to be.

Just posted my lesson plans for the week. It's the only school work I've done so far this weekend. I'm about three hours drive away from Clermont.  Will do a little when I get there.

Notice I have not yet ever referred to 'Clermont as "home."

It isn't.

And they ARE!!!

Already decided this is a one year thing.  It might not last that long.

I am STILL angry.

Time to go down and sit in the surf for awhile.....


I did.  Got too intimate with some waves and got dragged, face first, across the sand. Some people had to help me get to my feet.

I hate growing old.

Stuart, Florida

I will going over to the beach in the morning.

This has been a hell of a three weeks.  Needed to get away.  So I did.

The GOP passed it's tax reform.  God help us. They aren't even bothering to hide or mask their intentions anymore.

Obamacare is gutted.

Social security and medicare are next.

Democracy on the ropes.

Where is this going to end?

Will it?






Something happened when I arrived at CLMS yesterday morning.  Anger.  A lot of it.

Got a few quizzical looks.  I was told that one student called me "Mr. Perv."  The overwhelming number of students were delighted to see him.  Three insisted on hugging me.  THEY did it. I did not.

Mr. M "counseled"me.  I absolutely HATE that.  Told me to high five and not hug and no more covering eyes.

That is what this thing has been about all along.  I've seen other teachers hug too.  Why was I the only one sanctioned?  Answer?  Because four students decided to target me.  One told another to go over and get me to put buy arm around her and he would take a photo with his cell phone.

A setup. A freaking ambush.

Why?  Because students feel empowered.  They feel they can bully not only one another, but teachers and teacher assistants too.  And I haven't been the only one.

I am still angry tonight.  Gotta get my head straight. Got to or I am going to say or do something I should not.

Already got into a bit of a shouting match with one of the Ops. Told her we were setting ourselves up for a lawsuit.

We are.

A few weeks back, a high school student blew his brains out because he was being bullied and nothing was being done about it, just like at CLMS.

My first morning back, the principal proclaimed that use of profanity will get an automatic suspension from school.  Bad words. A suspension.  But threatening students and teachers, harassing them...

This sucks.  It really does.

Makes me want to pack up and go home.  I very nearly did. Anything else happens and I will, immediately.

I was told that students went to the office in tears over my being gone, that parents emailed and raised  a fuss.  One of them asked straight out where I had been.  I did not reply fully.  Mr. M advised me not to.  My estimation of him has dipped significantly. I no longer have any respect for any of the admin. None of them.

Another student asked me if I was going to go away again.  My departure will upset a lot of people, should that happen. I know that.

But how much is a guy supposed to take??????