still somewhat compromised, I guess...

the thought of returning to CLMS makes me feel cold inside...not at all sure it's what I want to do.

Why visit to RCMS complicates things.  They want me back and said so, several times.

Not at all sure what to do....

Seems to be the thing to do, anymore, in the land of the "free." Worse yet, so many delusional people at or near (or below) the poverty line buy their bull shit and allow this to go on, religiously voting republican.

I've said it so many times before and will say it again: too much stupid loose in America. Way too much. And it's cost us and will continue to do that until something miraculous happens. If and how that will happen...who knows?

Education is key. I know that is very cliche but it remains true.  The educated tend to think more for themselves and have a wider perspective.  Small wonder, then that the republicans are so down on public education.  They would see a world where only the few have education, where the populace is docile and compliant and didn't ask questions, choosing instead to just take orders.  I know that is terribly judgmental and I have tried, oh so long, to steer away from that conclusion but I find myself with little choice now. I'm no democrat and don't particularly like nor trust the donkey anymore than I do the elephant, but the species of republican we have now is simply evil and delusional. Again that is judgmental, but I feel it is true. Dwight D. Eisenhower and even Richard Nixon would not recognize their party anymore.

Meantime, my very unfavorite time of the year is upon us.

For the second year, I will not be sharing it with the Griffins. And I am fine with that.

All the rush and bother just gets to me.

Black Friday was an honored tradition with the Griffins.  too many things I found objectionable were.

"Hurry hurry hurry - get there yesterday..."

And I developed a solid dislike for being in the middle of their personal issues.  I was. Come to believe Mike used me to get back in contact with his high school lover. He and Deb were perpetually on the edge.

Add to all this, I have enough drama in my life and don't need any additional.  They see the world and people very differently than I do, as well.  Not a good mix.

Meanwhile, I am feeling like a schitzophrenic.   One moment I am resolved NOT to go back to CLMS. The next I feel a rise of righteous anger and feel like I must, that I need to think of the students I would be bolting on.

Will have to decide soon.  Saturday I head back.