So here I am....

the house is still here.

Almost wished it were not.  The place still has a significant roach problem.  Water still works. So does the heat pump.

Ma Barker's house appears to be empty.  Haven't seen anyone in it since I arrived yesterday afternoon.  The skanks are still there.  Haven't seen them yet, but have seen their cars.

By a peculiar twist of circumstance, I am subbing at RCMS this morning, for the art teacher.  I decided to turn my calling protocol back on yesterday and at 530 this morning, got a call. Too good to pass up.

Why not?

Have seen a few students and some remember me.  I won't know any of the 6th graders, of course, but both 7th and 8th should remember me.  I worked with nearly all of them last year at some time.

I had not gotten any homesickness...
until this morning.

Like I said, yesterday, right now I am very emotionally compromised. Don't want to make any decisions while in this state. NO pun intended.

Part of me does not want to go back.

We had a frost this morning.  32 degrees exactly.  Winter is coming on.  It gets cool in florida too, but not like this.

Then, part of me feels obligated.  Despite what has happened, I feel the overwhelming number of my students have already bonded with me (yes, middle schoolers do that too) and I don't imagine the effect on them would be a good one if I just departed.

Seems like my life is constantly at a crossroads.  Here we are again.

yeah...that was me....

The CCR reunion is coming up this summer and since I am in charge (???!!)  I ought to begin working on that.

Did some writing on my saga of CCR yesterday, first time in many months.

Written some on all three of my works in progress since the calamity at school. As I said, it is the first time in a LONG while I have had time or energy.

Bottom line: I want my life back. It has been dominated by school since August.  I understand that to a degree, but I am just NOT okay with having time for little else, particularly since I am keenly aware that I am in the sunset of my years.  I turn 70 next year.  I still have other things I want to do with my time and my life.  I am going to actively oppose or resist anything that keeps me from doing that.

It's never easy for me.

Never.

I have enjoyed working in a full time science class again. I still have a passion for it and still feel I have a lot to give.

But is my current situation a safe one?

After the past week, I am very much uncertain.  I don't handle uncertainty very well....


Things have gone well, thus far....6th grade is well behaved.  7th grade was okay.  8th grade coming soon.