Mass at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church was amazing this morning. Rather than the poisonous, repressive atmosphere of condescension I felt at St. Paul, this was actually a celebration. The celebrant spoke TO us during the omily, rather than AT us as one would with a naughty child. He even had a decided sense of humor. The pastoral staff of a church is key. This one was warm and welcoming rather than harsh and oppressive.
I had really feared that the separation from the faith of thy birth was permanent. I think had I remained in Greensboro, it would have been. And I didn't realize, until today, that it meant that much to me. It seemingly does. A surprise? It used to be so much a part of me. Taught in catholic schools for ten years although, at times, my experiences there were less than affirming. That, too, was a result of poor and visionless leadership, but I've come to see that as a problem with the entire hierarchy of the Catholic Church. But the hierarchy, from the "boys in red" all the way down to Pope Urban, are NOT the church; that would be the people, the laity, the "body of Christ" as you were. Yes, I have issues with the "authorities," but that isn't anything new for me.
Did an Apple workshop on keynote, an app similar to powerpoint but oh so much more user friendly. It was one of the best workshops I've ever attended. Am busy working on a presentation for the first day of school. Driving into Orlando was not the most pleasant experience, but it was certainly worth the trip.
While we are speaking of surprises, let's mention another one. I actually feel relieved being here in 'Clermont. Not only was my LONG and fairly difficult journey over, the RV set up, and the car trailer returned, things appear to be working out for me. It was financially draining. A painful truth? The insurance money for the jeep enabled me to make this move. Bad things sometimes have good outcomes. Still wish I had not lost the jeep though.
The relief goes deeper than all that. Ma Barker seemed to have gone, but I still found myself glancing in the rear view mirror each time I arrived home in my driveway, half expecting to see her coming down the driveway to ask me for something. The rednecks across the street are no longer and issue, unless, of course, they choose to torch my house, which would actually be a "left handed" favor. Strange reasoning, I know.
It goes deeper than that. During my years in the Greensboro area, I have experience a fair amount of trauma and upset. That's not all I've known, of course. I shall miss the people at rock middle this year and some of the locals have been good to me, but I still remember the awful times at P{least Garden, the turmoil and betrayal at Pius X and at the science center. I was reminded of them every week; I need to move past them. Being here might accomplish that. That, all by its lonely, would be a blessing.
Which brings us to a question that I cannot deny or ignore. Will I really want to go back there after this school year is ended?
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