Still chilling out...

Just don't feel any need to rush things.

cute little girl.....

We begin GELS (girls experiencing and learning the sciences) in a few days. Nine signed up so far. One is an alumni from last year. Her name is the only one I recognize from last year's crew, but I never have been good with remembering names.

that's her, on the right.

One of the good sides to taking time for myself is that I gain some perspective on how my life is going.  The not so good side is that I find myself pondering some of the things that are NOT so good. Never handled adversity so well.

A lot of the CCR crowd clamored for me and Mike to patch things up,  to settle our differences. If only they knew and understood some things that I do. They don't. So many think Mike is god. I know that he is the devil.  How can I ever "settle" a difference like that?

For most of my life, I've allowed people to control and manipulate me....Mary, Ma Barker (my former across the street neighbor), my very own Mother. Mike has been yet another one. The difference is that I now see him for who and what he actually is; few others in the CCR family do. Mike has controlled and manipulated most of us for decades. Small wonder he supports Trump; he is JUST like  him, very authoritarian, demand of personal worship, a pathological need to be the focus of attention. One who "adjusts" the truth to suit his need for dominance.  I saw it way back in 1975 after he returned from a year's absence and needed to reassert himself as the alpha male at camp chimney rock. The list could go on.

I don't plan to share any of it with the public. Doesn't mean that in a moment of passion I won't.

I know how I am.

Thus I need to avoid meeting up with Mike in a public setting.  That includes reunions. It's the reason I abdicated my role as reunion planner this year. Mike is pushing the notion that I dropped the proverbial ball and has conveniently avoided mention that it was he who made an issue about my being in charge of the reunion because I would no do his bidding and get back in contact. I did not want our conflict to ruin th reunion.

Another glaring example of the control and domination game.

He's an expert.

He will not control me ever again. not ever.