Whew!

Our meeting this morning went very well.  I am relieved (very) but still concerned.

Tentatively, I return tomorrow or, at the latest, Monday.

This has been an ordeal.  

So things are not so very bad as I had feared.  That happens a lot for me. Wish it didn't.

I AM THINKING I need to get out of the education business for good, after this year. So many times my intentions have been misunderstood.  Same thing this time. It seems the concern was that some of the girls were concerned about my hugging them.  Guess I should have been more aware.  I'm told they will be removed from my classes and placed elsewhere, to protect all concerned.

guess who, cute lil stinkbug!

This has been so godawful.  Word is that Mr. Mccue is anxious to get me back. Need to talk to him, like, right away.

Still very concerned about how I will be perceived, particularly considering that I have been gone for three weeks. The "word" is out, without a doubt.

I need to get away, this weekend, out of my RV, out of Lake County.  Got to get my head right.

*******************************************************************************

It's over.

Thank the Good Lord Above, it is OVER.

Mr. M tells me that students have come to them in tears, worrying they weren't going to see me anymore.  When he told me that, I had to fight off the tears myself. A parent even  contacted him, saying her daughter really needs me to be her teacher.

This has been a HORRIBLE three weeks, horrible.

Today might be the day....

Waiting....

Spent much of the last 19 days doing that.  Am kind of tired of it...

Who knows what today will bring.  I will know shortly...

Hold the presses.

The investigator did not show this morning and was in another meeting of some kind.  He wants to reschedule for tomorrow morning.

The union rep says it would be good if I had proof that Mr. M said it was okay to hug students. My fear is that something else has come up, what I don't know.

The old paranoia is kicking into high gear. Rats.

I have emailed the union rep twice and he has not replied.  Asked him if something else was wrong.

Silence is deafening.

Confirmed.

Mr. M emailed someone about girls being "creeped out" by my side hugs.  Nuts.  Just when I thought this thing was settled.

Odd, particularly when Mr. M told us it was okay to give side hugs. He did.

Damn.

Maybe it's just better that I go on home to Carolina....

The nightmare may be over...

 But I will know more in the morning.

This has been a "god=awful" couple of weeks.

Just spoke to the investigator; he told me it is likely I will be back at CLMS by the end of the week.

The question remains, now....do I REALLY want to?

This morning, I met with my school next door neighbor who told me that one of her students blurted out that I got "fired for sexual assault." So the rumor is out there.  She has heard nothing more since then, but with men, the innuendo is enough sometimes.

Two ways to go at this:

If I do disappear, it will be assumed I was indeed guilty of some terrible transgression. Does that matter to me, since I will never see nor talk to any of these people ever again?  A conundrum. I've said I no longer care what anyone thinks of me.  Guess I will find out now if I really believe that.

Should I return, the very best kind of "revenge" will be to pick up where I left off as though nothing happened.  Trouble is that it DID. Can I, indeed, just pick up and go on?

Gonna have to decide by tomorrow.

Hopefully the issue will be resolved today

Still waiting here in the bus garage.

Just want this over and done, one way or another.

If I need to head home to Carolina, then let's do it.  If not, and they'll take me back at CLMS, then fine, let's do that too.

The waiting is the worst.....

Almost 3 PM and still no word.  Maybe I should not be so impatient but I am.

Science fair projects are due tomorrow.  There is going to be enough of a logjam....that is, assuming they even have me back art CLMS.  My next door neighbor reported that the head of the science department spoke of "when" (not if) I come back; my neighbor has been very optimistic from the start.  Wish I had her outlook. I could sure benefit from it.

here I am

What a journey.

Nothing like the trip down with the RV, towing the Miata behind.  That wS 16 HOURS of hell.

12 hours on the road yesterday and about 5 today, but that was due to 'thanksgiving traffic. And that little Miata is much more maneuverable than the RV.

Back to the bus garage tomorrow.  The investigation is still ongoing. Just exchanged e mails with the investigator, telling me that one student did, in fact, say people would be reading about me. He replied, saying he hoped I was still able to have a good holiday, despite everything.  I replied that I have known the truth from the start about all this and so I did.  He asked me to clarify what I meant by the truth and I told him that I've known from the beginning I did nothing inappropriate.

Just waiting for this process to play out.  Hope it will and soon.

Still not certain I want to do this anymore.  That's not good.

nuts....

Almost in Georgia.  I would already be in Florida, by now, but I 95 is a virtual parking lot.  Stopped now at a Waffle House for dinner and hoping the traffic will clear.  Not real hopeful. This is Thanksgiving "going home"traffic.  Was hoping I would miss that. Wrong.

Tried to check into the local motel 6; the last room was taken by the person in line in front of me. It was a smoking room anyhow. Can't stand being in one of those no kind of a way.

Tired.  Didn't know how much until I stopped. It's usually like that. Guess I will just have to get back on the road after this and motor on.

Now and then I find myself pondering my possible return to CLMS and still, I feel uncomfortable about doing that. Not certain I can do it.

So do I just collect my RV and head back?

The thought sure is tempting, believe me.

And this is how I feel right about now.

But it's never easy with me. Sure, I  could go back to subbing at RCMS. The people there REALLY want me to do that.

Bug bombed the house, again, as I left today.  Not sure how much good it will do.  Bugs weren't as bad as before, but they are still there.  Not good.

No one bothered me during my stay.  Didn't even see the Red necks across the street but once. Ma Barker, of course, is history. Saw her new occupants briefly, but didn't say anything to them.

This morning, early, before the sun, I threw on  winter jacket and, still dressed in running shorts (LOL!) was going to walk around the block, blindfolded, just to find out what it would be like. yeah, I am weird like that, I guess.  I walked a short distance, then took off the blindfold. Kept veering to my right and into neighbor's yards.  Not good. I abandoned my adventure, went back to the house and then, abandoned my plan to depart early (0600) and went back to bed.

Geez...might not be in this predicament if I had done that.  Might not have. No guarantees.

Didn't depart until after 10 AM.

I plan on coming back December 21st, less than a month from now. It's entirely possible it could happen before that.  Won't know for sure until I return.  I will spend at least one more day at the bus garage, as the investigation wraps up.  Then, who knows?

The kids are going to ask when I get back, assuming that I do, in fact, do that. What will I say? What can I say?  Not been in this situation before.

Might try the blindfolded walk around the block again, when I get back, very early in the morning, of course, so as not to encounter any traffic. My neighborhood is strange, like me; it has traffic at all times, albeit sporadic and occasional.

What if one of my neighbors sees me skulking about blindfolded?

So what?  I will never know and as I have said, time and again, I don't really care, any longer, what anyone thinks of me. I've come to realize that I actually don't.

Met with the group I refer to as the "revolutionaries,"  yesterday at Natty Greene's.  Most of us are seniors and kind of "liberal" (hate that term) in our outlook.  We met via writing letters on the news and record blog and via Facebook. Life has been turbulent for us over the past year, watching our country going down the proverbial tubes. But it's been people like us who have kept the"heat" on and the ACA is still with us because of that.  Some republicans realized the folly of their own parties path and veered off of it.  The next big thing is the criminal "tax reform" bill they have in the congress. The house has already passed it. No surprise there.  We're hoping the few maverick republicans in the Senate will keep that from happening there.  No telling.

It's peculiar.  Republicans have control of both houses of congress, the white house and a right leaning Supreme Court and they still cannot manage to ram their regressive agenda through....not YET anyhow.

Time to get back on the road....

Kingsland, Georgia tonight, three miles from the Florida line.  Back in Clermont by tomorrow morning, late.

I start back tomorrow

Went to thanksgiving lunch with the Daniel clan and dinner with the Thompsons, both by invitation. It was good seeing them.

I've got to believe the meme on my left. Have to.

These aren't the most turbulent times in my life. I have seen far worse. Yet I have once again come to understand how my mother wound up with the mindset she did.

"Dogs are loyal; people stink."

Yes, she was inebriated when she said that, but it's the thought that counts most.

I remain determined NOT to wind up with that attitude. Don't want to lose that particular battle. I do and I have lost that soul I just mentioned. There are difficult people in the world. Evil ones too. But there are the other kind as well; lots of them. Gotta remember that.





So yes, I am heading back to Florida tomorrow morning, early.  The issue with me is very nearly settled. Not 100% sure, yet, just what I will do when it is. Not 100% certain what I SHOULD do.
Much will be determined by the final findings of the investigation.  Right now, most think I will be reinstated at CLMS.  The union rep is certain of it. But he could be wrong.

There's a chance I will be moved somewhere else.  Do I want that? I went to Florida to teach 6th grade science. If I can no longer do that...

Why is it that, too often, life is a conundrum for me?