I dislike this time of year

Thanksgiving and Christmas serve to remind me of the things I never really had, a family. I'm 70 in a few weeks.  One would think I would be over this by now. I'm not and suspect I never will be.

The closest thing I ever had to having a child of my own,  the woman you
see in this photo. Faith is now a missionary in Romania and is
expecting her 7th child.

The very last thing I ever wanted to become was a bitter, cynical, old man.  Eons ago, my elderly and crochetety aunt Mary predicted I would be some day.

Only wish I knew what I could do about it now...

another Friday

That doesn't hold the fascination that it once did.

Subbed at RCMS today - Spanish.  Even that doesn't hold much fascination for me.  Not sure just what that means...

still here...

Haven't been around for awhile now...

Wasn't sure I would be coming back, but here I am.

Thankfully, we've some breathing room in the congress now, with democrats regaining control of the House.  Had that not happened, I would not have given democracy long to live in America.

I had begun drawing up plans to emigrate to Central America.  Somewhat relieved I won't have to do that now...at least, not yet.

tRUMP seems about to go off the deep end.  He has never heard the word "no" and cannot handle it. It's anyone 's guess what he might do next.

This past weekend was Veterans Day.  Neither he nor his Vice President went to Arlington to honor the fallen. Don't believe that has ever happened before.
He was in Europe but didn't go to the 100th anniversary of the armistice ending WW I because it was raining, the only major "leader" to do that. Once more he met with Putin, on Veteran's day of all times.

Been subbing at RCMS regularly.  It's just a relief, a massive relief that I am not in Clermont, Florida.

Back at RCMS today....

doing "locker patrol."

Tomorrow I have my first sub job. Wednesday and Thursday too.

The trip to DC was interesting.  Mobility is becoming more and more of an issue for me.  My legs hurt most all of the time.  Ken, a friend of mine, had it worse than me.  His back is really bad. He spent most of the visit to the national mall sitting on a bench.

The trip up and the trip back took me up to nine hours because I kept stopping. Stopped at a Waffle House in Virginia and got the runs.  I knew almost every rest stop along 85.

The lower back hurts still.  Could not get an MRI until next Saturday.  Hoping it's not anything serious.

Got a call to sub at a new charter school in Greensboro.

Interesting.

Life just doesn't seem to have the urgency it used to have

and that, actually, is a blessing.

I can stay up as late as I wish and get up when I am ready to.

It remains a relief to not be a teacher anymore.  As Sybil said so well, public education is not a user friendly place anymore. Not by a long shot.

I hope to be past the anger and disappointment I still feel over my experiences in Florida, but that isn't reality yet.

The house is a wreck.  It just is. In my current financial condition, I doubt I will be able to salvage it. The tarp on the roof appears to be doing its job.  That is a comfort. I cannot shed the notion that this, the only house I have ever owned and one I have resided in for over a quarter of a century will ultimately have to be surrendered to some scavenger.  The next year will tell the tale.

ugh!

most of the pain is in my lower back, right where the kidneys are.  The PA handling my issues at Baptist health has ordered a MRI of the kidneys but I have heard nothing else about it. frequent urination, every two or three hours too. No fun.

My trip to DC got postponed.  The Amtrak train is booked this weekend.  I was somewhat amazed at that.  Looking at making another attempt midweek.  I could just drive up but don't really want to do that. Taking the train would be a lot less stressful and more of an adventure.

Published my 4th book, A guide for a second American revolution on both create as space and Lulu. 108 pages. Not a lengthy treatise.  But I finished another book and actually had it published, albeit self published.

Next up, I hope, will be another short book: What Does Not Kill Me, a how to book on how to keep life's detractors from destroying you.

Within the next year, I plan to finish the first edition of Mid The Hills: the CCR Story. The first edition will concern itself with my first year at CCR.  I plan to break up the rest of the saga into other books. There is another CCR reunion planned for a year from Labor Day, in 2019. My hope is to have the first edition published before then. Also hope to locate the hundreds (literally) of color slides I have of my CCR years, digitalize them, and fashion it all into a video for the occasion.

The conundrum will be whether I will attend the reunion myself.  Maine is far far away. Camp Waziliyah, which is owned by two CCR alums, is in Waterford, Maine.  Much will depend on what I am doing. If I remain retired, which right now, I plan to, then I would certainly have the time.  If Mike attends, I will not.  That will give him the opportunity, of course, to totally trash me during the "Mike Griffin worship" portion of the gathering. He did it to BJ Rankin the last time, the owner of the camp.  Narcissistic sociopaths have no honor. I just have to wonder if I am the only CCR alum who sees it.

I once again find myself thinking of leaving the country, based on what happens in November.  If that blue tsunami thy speak of does not occur, then I do not give democracy in America long to live. A possible constitutional convention is on the horizon and if the likes of the Koch brothers get their way, our present constitution, particularly portions of the bill of rights, will get shredded and we will officially become an oligarchy, something we already are to a large extent. Scary.

I know I've said this already, but I have never seen so much stupid as I have these past few years.

Why do people vote against their own welfare?

So many are duped and fooled by the hype and the rhetoric. It's just easier to do what others tell you to do than to check things out for yourself.

 But that isn't how a democracy is supposed to work.

And right now, in America, it isn't working.

The stomach pain has started back up again ..

They changed meds on me.  Hope that will help.

Just commented on school starting again on facebook and, for the first time, used Clermont Middle's name in the post.  I had kept the identify of the school a secret until now. I don't feel as though I owe them that anymore, particularly after I trashed them on the Great Schools site.

But now that I have done that, I need to put all the trauma from last school year behind me. It's over. It no longer affects me.  It was a lesson learned, albeit a painful one, and I need to move on. I've never been good at letting go of things.  That has harmed me and others and I don't want that to happen this go around.

Looking at going up to the DC area this coming up weekend.  Haven't really taken me a "vacation " all summer and I need to.

School starts back up in the Carolinas fairly soon and I have tentatively decided to go back to subbing and helping out at Rock Middle again.  They seem happy to have me back.  It's already obvious How I feel about being home.
They came and put a tarp over a portion of my roof.  We'll see how things go the next big blow we have.

I went by for a visit today.  They are indeed looking forward to having me around again and, I think I discovered something I already knew - I feel the same way.

Put a message on the Clermont Middle facebook page wishing them the best year ever.  They review everything so I doubt this will appear.  Still, I needed to do that. It's part of my coping with what happened and then moving on.

It's time.

Stopped at Sagebrush, in Reidsville, for dinner.  The first two people I saw were former students, one of them 21 years old now.  I guess, whether I recognize it or not, I am legend.  And I am so honored to be.